Today is the World Suicide Prevention Day. I didn't plan to write anything in this blog today but I just feel like I have to because of some reasons.
I've been through a lot. I was bullied. I became a subject of gossips in three different schools that I went to. I have some spiritual battles. I have a part in my life that I can't remember, names of people and events that my subconscious made me forget. I have some stories that as much as I wanted to share it, I just can't.
I didn't have this kind of faith yet when some of those trials where poured on me but whenever I look back, I just can't thank Him enough for being there for me during those times.
I know I am talking in riddles but this is just my heart full of praises for Him. No, I never thought about taking my own life but I guess it's safe to say that I killed some parts of me so I can cope. I became aloof and I built a very tall wall and covered myself with so many masks to protect myself. I am still struggling in terms of socializing and talking to people but I thank God for His healing and for teaching me about the importance of consciously letting go and forgiving people.
I repeat, consciously letting go and forgiving people. It's a very hard decision to make because I know sometimes a part of us wishes bad things to happen to those people who caused us pain. Sometimes, revenge comes to the extent of hurting our own selves so we could make them guilty about hurting us. Sometimes, we let ourselves sink in depression and we let ourselves linger to those hurtful events because somehow it will become our excuse for letting ourselves fail.
Let go. Nobody is judging you but yourself. You should never compete with anybody. Breathe. Let go and pray. Forgiving somebody and yourself is a decision that you have to make. It will never magically happen. Pray for strength so that you will be able to carry your loads, lift it up and offer it to Him. Surround yourself with people who can help you carry it and lift it up to Him.
I know it's not easy but it is possible to move on.
Don't let trials knock you down. Ask for help and reach out.
So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your
God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my
righteous right hand.
This is for you, you know who you are. I am praying that you will be able to read this. You are not alone. I am here. I love you! You are Loved! LOVED Words and Music by Dave and JJ Heller
Do you dream of a home you never had
An innocence that you cannot get back
The pain is real
You can’t erase it
Sooner or later you have to face it down
You are loved
Do you keep your thoughts inside your head
Will you regret the things you never said You have a voice
You have to use it
You have a choice
Don’t let them shut you down
You are loved
Do you feel the ache inside your soul
You know you’ll never make it on your own
Sorrow is too great for you to hold it
You’re gonna break
Why don’t you lay it down
I am a reflection of His love...this is my goal and this is who I want to be in this world.
Hi! Thank you for reading my personal reflections. I try my best to write as clearly as possible but sometimes my thoughts are just so random. I also hate writing but strangely sometimes words will just flow. Writing has always been a great way for me to let go of my own thoughts and allow God to tell me the messages that I need to hear and learn. This is my journey with the Lord and it's an honor to be able to share it with you. =)
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