Monday, September 27, 2010

Bliss =)

9:44 PM 7 Comments

Not long ago I was too ashamed to go home, to talk to my parents and tell them that it will take me maybe 2 more years to finish nursing school here in New York. Not long ago I spent a joy ride, went to New Jersey with my special friend right after I received my I-am-sorry-you-didn't-make-it letter sobbing about my unfortunate fate and complaining about the rocky journey I am traveling towards my dream of being a nurse while he's giving me his 1000 reasons, yes he came up with that too many reasons about why I should be thankful that I didn't get into the program. Of course I laughed in between but my heart was torn and I couldn't understand why. I pretended I was okay and by the time I got home, I have to hold back my tears in front of my parents as I was telling them I am sorry that I failed. I even failed on hiding my tears.

I am really not sure what happened after that day but I am positive that I kept praying and told God that I trust Him even though my mind was telling me that I will be spending years in devastation island.

Surprisingly, weeks after those moments I was told that I will have a permanent regular schedule at work. I will be working in a luxurious hotel for elders. I had my class schedule ready; I changed my major to Lib Arts: Math and Science. I will be in school Mondays and Wednesdays and I will work Tuesdays, Thursdays, Saturdays and Fridays as an on call.

Working and doing the dirty job sends me to euphoria. I enjoyed giving care and love towards the elders. I give medicines, sponge bath, feed them or bring them to the dining hall, I also change their diapers, clean them after they went, push their wheel chair, bring them to movies or to the park, talk to them, listen to their stories, write my nurses notes...what a bliss! What I do with them doesn't feel like I'm working but instead I am having the same feeling whenever I worship God. I feel happiness beyond words can express. I always end my day with a smile and a thankful heart no matter how the day went. I was called stupid, timid and slow but most of the time I get compliments, hugs and kisses from them. I smile and thank God because this is all that I want from nursing, no more no less.

Aside from my passion for nursing, mathematics also sends me to an elevated state. I feel heaven whenever I have to do math problems. I always wish they require more math subjects in nursing when I was still in the Philippines. I love testing my patience while I do solving. I love to do logic, word problems, measuring, counting, figures, algebra...ah! Well well well... look at what I have to do now! I have to take math courses to finish this degree. I just couldn't believe how fast time flies when you are enjoying; I am doing what I love and studying what I want.

I don't know where He will lead me but it's the first time that I am enjoying the ride. I am enjoying the stops that I have to take. I am living in the present. I don't even have time to figure out what His plans for me or to foresee my future because I am happy enjoying everything. My week is always great. Plus, another bonus gift from Him are the new things that I can do because of the confidence and courage He is giving me, taught by His instruments, my friends from my church community and my family; and also because I can already afford doing it since I already have a job.

I want to pursue nursing right after I graduate from my new major, hopefully with prayers and love I will graduate next semester but of course, take me Lord wherever You want to bring me.

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

I Believe There is More

1:51 PM 2 Comments
As I was cleaning the room today while my collection of Christian songs was playing, I can't help not to pause, sing along and then cry when I heard "I Believe There is More".

Father, thank You. Lord, I am amaze by how You've been slowly pouring different kinds of blessings in my life when I stopped praying for what I want and when I began to constantly thanking You, instead, for the things that I've been receiving. I love You so much Father.

Thank You for my family, my friends, my special friend, my work, the community where I belong, for the new opportunities, new experiences, new faces, new discoveries, for the goal and dream that I am having right now, for giving me the chance to be closer to You in different ways and level, for the freedom to praise and worship You, for the gifts and graces You've showered upon me and my family and most of all for my life and the kind of life that I am living right now.

Lord, thank You for allowing me to see and enjoy Your creation with friends of whom I met through Your community. I love how I can have fun with them and at the same time share our love and passion of praising and worshiping Your name.

Sky Diving

Rock Climbing



I Believe There is More
-Don Moen-

You have been good to me
You have been good to me
You have been gracious
You have been faithful
Meeting my needs
Lord, it's so plain to see
You have been good to me
I have been given so much I can't even
Begin to thank You

And still I believe there is more
I believe there is more
I believe
So open my hands to receive
All that Your love has in store
Lord, I believe

Everything I have done
All that I've said and sung
Lifting Your story giving You glory
That's just the beginning
Father, I know there is more
Power to heal and restore
Miracles wonders blessings unnumbered
Love never-ending

Exceeding abundantly
More than our minds can imagine
Love overflowing
You are bestowing
Day after day after day

"If the only prayer you say in your
entire life is- 'thank you' --that is enough."
-Meister Eckhart