Wednesday, August 4, 2010

When I say... "I am a Christian"

9:33 PM 2 Comments
Whenever I say that I am a Christian, I love God, Jesus is my First Love, I go to church, I am part of a charismatic group, I am part of a community and/or I maintain a faith-based blog, I always get reactions that drives me to explain my beliefs or share my personal stories about my walk with Him.

I am sinful. I am doubtful. My spirit gets weak. I am stubborn. I get lazy. I question His plans. I insist what I want. I get mad, super mad that I sometimes make curses in my head. There are also times that I find it hard to concentrate during mass. I don't read my Bible that often. My list goes on with things that contradicts my claim of being a "Christian", maybe not exactly it is contradicting but maybe just not the way other people picture Christians.

I know that I am a sinner, however this doesn't stop me and well in fact, knowing it helps my confidence in My Father's love to get even stronger as I persevere to be closer to Him. I am a
sinner but I am like a child who commits mistakes and He is a Father who embraces me and even shows me more attention and affection after every fall. Now tell me how can His love would not be enough for me to loudly proclaim that I am His daughter, I am a follower of Christ and that I love Him so much.

I honestly don't like it when people forget about my weaknesses of being a human. I want to be called a sinner who perseveres to walk closer to Him so that nothing can come between us. I am not pure but His love can cleanse me. On the other hand, it really irritates me when people use the I-am-a-sinner-I-am-really-bad-that's-why-I-don't-want-to-get-involve-with-Christianity reason or I-will-still-sin-I'll-just-go-to-church-if-and-when-i-decide-to-stop-sinning.

My thoughts are so random. I really don't know where I am going. lols. I just found this poem from my old notes and thought of making an intro blab instead of posting it plain. hehe.

Have a blessed week! Oh how I miss blogging.

When I say... "I am a Christian"

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I'm not shouting "I'm clean livin."
I'm whispering "I was lost,"
Now I'm found and forgiven.
Align Center
When I say..."I am a Christian"
I don't speak of this with pride.
I'm confessing that I stumble
and need CHRIST to be my guide.

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I'm not trying to be strong.
I'm professing that I'm weak
and need HIS strength to carry on.

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I'm not bragging of success.
I'm admitting I have failed
and need God to clean my mess.

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I'm not claiming to be perfect,
My flaws are far too visible
but, God believes I am worth it.

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I still feel the sting of pain,
I have my share of heartaches
So I call upon His name.

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I'm not holier than thou,
I'm just a simple sinner
who received God's good grace, somehow.

~Maya Angelou~

Monday, August 2, 2010

The Bliss of Loving You

2:53 PM 0 Comments

I imagine myself sitting on a bench at the center of a meadow, where close by there is a lake. I feel the cool breeze of the wind while the sun shines bright. It feels like the air is embracing me, cuddling me like a child. It gives me comfort, makes me want to close my eyes. I am not alone. I take a deep breath and now I smell the beauty of the world, Your presence and the sweet scent of happiness in Your creation. I am smiling.

Then I let my eyes to wander and I gaze upon each beauty that surrounds me. I see beautiful flowers, that I have never seen before, in every color that I could imagine. I trace the shapes and curves of the things that I usually neglect, like the mountains, the rocks and the trees. You are very creative. You alone can make imperfect figures fit perfectly in this world.

I hear the water flowing and the birds singing as if they are choirs and the wind blowing are the instruments. The trees are dancing, as well as the green grass and the lovely flowers. I hear how the colorful butterflies court the flowers, flapping their wings around while they plan how to make more.

Then suddenly everything is on mute but it didn't shock me nor I felt afraid for not hearing anything. Instead, the sound of silence excites my heart. I hear her beating, whispering peace, happiness and love. I can hear my love for You.

I can feel... I can see... I can smell... I can hear Your love for me.

I can no longer think of anything to say nor can I remember my imperfections.

The sun is shining even brighter than it did a while ago. I see Your face but my world doesn't have the right words to describe Your beauty. I am trying hard and even harder to think of adjectives to go with Your name but every word fails to give justice to describe who You are.

Now all I can say is I love You, I worship You, I praise You, I thank You, I love You more than I have ever loved You. I am in awe. Your presence gives me happiness, I am in ecstasy. Water flows from eyes because of the joy that You are giving me. I miss You and I miss You everyday. You know how much I want to be with You, to talk to You and to endlessly say that I love You.

I love You so much Lord. Moments like this with You reminds myself to equip my brain with words and adjectives because I always fell short of things to say to You. I love You so much.