Roller Coaster Ride of Faith

Almost a month ago I had experienced something that had made me really confuse and weak deep down inside. As in totally deep that I wasn't even aware why I feel really really bad, mad and sad. I choose not to explain what happened as I am also not sure how to explain it well but the only thing that is clear to me is that the circumstances given to us no matter if it a test given by God or an effort of the enemy to take us away from Him has only 2 possible results.

If we act negatively towards it, we will end up to a negative result-allowing the enemy to win. Sometimes we might not notice that we are allowing the enemy to win even though we knew that we believe in Jesus and even we have Him in our heart. In my case, when I felt really down I thought it was just a normal reaction or feeling of somebody who is facing some problems. I thought, hey you just can't understand how bad I feel because you are not in my position. I became really impatient because I believe that He will answer me but I just became really impatient of waiting. I still pray but my prayer would be more of like Lord please take away this negative feelings that I have. A verbal prayer that I have said because I want that to happen but then I realize that I was just saying it and not feeling every word that I have said. I was just saying it but I wasn't ready or willing to show determination to fight the negative feeling.

The second result would be a positive one-to rejoice because you know you are a child of God. How can we attain it? Just simple, only through Him. I had over come my days of darkness after a simple sincere and exclusive time for Him. God have done and given me so much and it is really humbling to know that all I have to do is show a little determination, make a simple genuine step for me to see that He is already working. My problems are not yet solved but His love is giving me happiness. He is really amazing for just by calling His name things can be made possible. I feel really really great. I know everything will be fine soon. Right now, I am just happy for the simple surprise treats that He is giving me. Moreover, how can I not be happy when I know that Jesus had already saved me and set me free?

What about you, have you experienced a roller coaster ride in terms of your spiritual life?

"Sometimes God gives us promises and we wait and wait,
pray and pray and then there comes a time
when our patience wears out.
We think we will help God out by manipulating people
and circumstance in order to fulfill God's promise."
- from Joyce Schmedel's
The Roller Coaster Ride of Faith of Abraham