Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Saved by the Cross

Yesterday, March 24, 2009, was amazing! It was super duper amazing that if I would make a list of my favorite dates in my entire life, I know I will include it. On the other hand, it was also one of those events in my life that I can't describe well. It was magical. I felt wonderful, fulfilled...I was completely overwhelmed by God's amazing works.

Every Tuesday at 7:30pm our Charismatic Prayer Group meets on our church and I would normally arrive an hour earlier to spend time in front of the crucified Jesus in a small park near the parking lot. I really love sitting there facing Jesus even if it is cold, dark or snowing. It is really comforting and even if I don't talk to Jesus, being there makes me feel like I really don't have to say anything at all. I sometimes don't say anything lately because I know that if I would start praying, I will just end up feeling bad because I really feel like leaving my country was a decision I just made by myself.

But yesterday was different. I sat there in silence, cleared my mind, noticed the trees without its leaves and the squirrels climbing and just stared at Jesus. I looked at Him and thanked Him for being in that cross for me. As I was sitting there, a lot of realizations came into my mind that not only it made me feel better but it also gave me answers.

First of all, if I didn't come here in New York, I wouldn't be sitting there in that park. I wouldn't be in church on a Tuesday to spend time with Him. I wouldn't be able to regularly attend the Sunday mass. I wouldn't be able to take and drink the body and blood of Christ regularly. I wouldn't be able to experience reading the first reading on a Mass (I've been praying for it ever since I was young).

If I didn't come, my spiritual life wouldn't be corrected. When I was in a nursing school in the Philippines, I had classes from Mondays to Saturdays with lots of requirements and sleepless days due to school works. I had honestly used most of my Sundays as an excuse to relax, sleep, unwind, study and finish my requirements on time. I know I was not doing the right thing but I would often use the word "busy and tired" as an excuse of not going to church regularly.

So there...after those realizations..I left the park thanking God for everything with an open heart to accept His ways of changing me and with willingness to pour out my love and gratitude for Him through singing during the prayer meeting. I really felt light and changed that moment.

It's now 7:30pm...just as when we were about to start 2 women came and introduced their selves as members of a prayer group from a far away church. It would be their first time to be on that church and they didn't even know that we are having a prayer meeting every Tuesday. Why would I know? Because I had met them outside before I went to the park. They asked me what are we having on our church. I said that the spanish prayer group meets at the Lower Church and the english prayer group on the upper church and the church opens at 7:30pm. They said ok and left, and that was when I went to the park.

When we started the prayer meeting, I can really feel that something's going to happen. The presence of the Holy Spirit is different. It was lively and intense. I love the moment for it allowed me to sing and pour out my heart through every song. The last time I had sang that way was when I was still in the Philippines on a youth fellowship.

The best part is....when I received healing. The first time that I had experienced an attack was during my 18th birthday. It tested my faith and made me closer to God but it was also causing me to have ups and downs of my faith. It had caused me to feel bad about my self. It had caused me to think that I am crazy. It had caused me to be humiliated. It had caused me to give up a lot of times as I felt like the more I move closer to Him the more the enemy is working harder to take me away from God. The latest attack was the reason why I left my blog for almost a month.

Sister Rose shared that God told her to go there. She goes to a different church and knows nothing about our group. She said she don't know what will happen or what are we having that day but she just followed what God told her to do and that is to go there.

It was really different and I really can't explain it further as what happened was just so spiritual and heavenly and amazing for words to be used to describe it. I am glad it is over. I believe it is over. I am really glad she obeyed God for she didn't only became an instrument of healing but she also serves as a confirmation of my experiences. I am glad I can now say that I am not crazy nor I do have some personality disorder.

God is truly amazing to set up pieces in our lives like a puzzle. God is truly amazing. He works mysteriously. He is unpredictable but when you try to comprehend things you will just be amazed by how everything is like well planned. There is definitely no coincidence to God.

To God be the glory!


Carol said...

Your love is contagous. I loved everyword and was getting into your love for Him with everyword I read. God Bless you so much. You inspire me to write with love and from my soul.

Dr. Bruce said...

What joy to stumble on this website. The Christian faith truly unites believers across cultures and countries.

The challenge of trusting the Lord Jesus with our faith in daily living is a demanding task. Prayer, fellowship and accountability like these believers have is essential.


Mrs.Naz@BecomingMe said...

What a beautiful breakthough. Lovely

Anonymous said...

It is so good to see you back to yourself Paige! What a blessing you are!

Love you!

IJ said...

Glad you love Jesus sis keep it up

God Bless