Friday, December 30, 2011

Deaf and Blind


Today, I knowingly took a wrong train going home just because my feet wanted to get in on that certain car. There was only one seat left and I grabbed it without thinking of other people because I was tired.

Sitting across me was a pair acting like they're couples, I immediately noticed them because the girl is also a filipina. I smiled and closed my eyes; I was planning to take a nap and get off at whatever station. Then I heard the girl said... "I like you very much but I don't want to leave Jeff because he is consistent...I like so many guys, I flirt and show them that I like them but that's just it." They were exchanging ideas about how relationships and love should be. I heard the girl mentioned about financial stability, consistency, flirting, moving on and the like. Her words entered my ears, pierced right through my brain, leaving a sensation in my heart.

I started praying "Lord, her business is not mine. Please allow me to find silence in the middle of their conversation. I don't want to hear them." while I kept my eyes tightly closed.

I was blind and deaf for a few minutes.

I thought:

If I am deaf, I will never have the chance to hear sweet words of affirmations from my loved ones, or compliments about how I look or if I did a good job.

If I am blind, I will never have the chance to see His beautiful creations. I won't be able to see the beauty of a place or a person. I won't be able to see the gestures of love that my family and friends will do for me.

If I am deaf and blind at the same time...(?) I had to snap back because I got scared for a few seconds. Then I reflected about the genuine feeling of love and peace that I felt while two of my senses were paralyzed.

The actual knowing, believing and trusting His love and my family and friends' love for me felt so good. At that very moment, I didn't have any thoughts of doubts and fears. I just felt loved because I know I am loved. I felt loved because I believe that He loves me, my boyfriend loves me, my family and friends love me without any thoughts of what if, why and but.

What we see, what we hear or what we feel (sense of touch) can really change our perception about things and sometimes about our selves. Maybe, if we practice having silence and stillness every time we fear or doubt, the Holy Spirit can tap in into our heart and give us the most honest answer that we should have and, of course, believe.

But it's really hard to let go and let the Holy Spirit control us. Our eyes can tell or trick our brain that a certain road is muddy or rough. Our ears can trick our brain if the water is deep or shallow. You know what I mean? It's really hard. Determination is the key. Persevere! (talking to my self)

About the girl...I will make it a resolution to not make other's business my business...

My special someone said that there are 3 kinds of business...our business, other's business and God's business.. We should only care about our own. We should not tell other people about what they should do. We should not tell God about what He should do...it's something like that..lol

=)

Did you know that I turned a year older last December 29? My love asked me about my reflection for my birthday, asked me why I stopped writing...('_') i don't have any reflection nor do i want to make a fuss that it's my birthday. I also don't know why I stopped writing.

I don't have any plan to post or write but that train ride was really something. I hope you understood my reflection because I know my ideas are here and there. I am tired and sleepy. Good night!


This is us. We celebrated our 2nd year anniversary last 11.11.11.
I don't want to post anything about him in this blog because this blog is for my First Love
but I want to thank God for giving him an amazing amount of wisdom and patience.
=)


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Monday, September 12, 2011

Miss Universe 2011

Congratulations to Miss Philippines Shamcey Supsup for winning 3rd runner up in Miss Universe 2011!

Final Q&A for Miss Shamcey

Q.Will you change your religious belief to marry the one you love?

A. "If I'm going to change my religious belief, I will not marry the person that I love because the first person I love is God who created me and I have my faith and principles and this what makes me who I am. And if that person loves me? He should love my God first."

I love Miss Shamcey's answer! I wanted to make a post related to her question but I remember that I already posted my views about marriage earlier, so I guess I should better stop here. To read MARRIAGE ENCOUNTER, click here. =) Thank you.

Congratulations also to Miss Angola (Leila Lopes) for winning Miss Universe 2011, Miss Ukraine (Olesya Stefanko) 1st runner up, Miss Brazil (Priscila Machado) 2nd runner up and Miss China (Luo Zilin) 4th runner up

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Marriage Encounter

Last weekend, my parents attended the marriage encounter retreat and I was able to witness some of their activities during the Sunday mass.

It has always been my mom's prayer to have the chance to serve and worship Him together with my dad. We used to be a part of a small charismatic group back home in the Philippines and I remember how my mom dragged everybody to join every prayer meeting. She was able to bring me every time maybe because she started dragging me while I was still 3 years old but somehow she can't do the same with daddy. My dad used to stay in the bedroom whenever the prayer meeting was held in our house.

My dad's a good man, don't get me wrong. I know he prays but only in private. I think he's just not comfortable to be seen praying and singing for Him. His work in the Philippines became a hindrance for us to attend mass every Sunday as a family. Well, it's not just the Sunday mass but it's any activity that requires us all to be in one place with him; he used to have threats, i remember him saying that he can only protect one person if ever he gets ambushed. I know he prays a lot, especially for strength, wisdom and protection while he was still in service but his work hindered us to cultivate our relationship with Him as a family, which I think is also important. I remember a saying from a prayer time program in the philippines--"The family that prays together, stays together."

I believe that it's nice to be a part of a community as a single, but it's better if the whole family is a part of it; that's why I'm thankful that finally my parents were able to have time to join the ME retreat. My mom is also grateful that daddy finally decided to join.

I love watching my parents renew their vows last Sunday. I know how much they love each other; I'm not just their daughter but I am also their number one fan. I know and I witnessed their sacrifices and patience for each other. I am inspired by their love story and love for each other. Now that my dad already opened up and decided to level up the kind of prayer life that he has which is praying with the community, I can now completely say that I want a marriage like them. My dad's love for my mom is amazing; I want to feel blessed with the man that I will soon marry just like my mom. My mom's patience and strength is inspiring. I pray that I could be just like her for my own family someday; her faith is amazing and she never ceases to pray for us.


A Marriage Blessing

We thank you, O God,
for the Love You
have implanted in our hearts.

May it always inspire us to be
kind in our words, considerate
of feelings, and concerned
for each other's needs and wishes.

Help us to be understanding
and forgiving
of human weakness and failings.

Increase our faith and trust
in You and may Your prudence
guide our life and love.

Bless our marriage, o God,
with peace and happiness,
and make our love fruitful for
Your glory and 
our joy both here and in eternity.

Amen.




*The picture is from here.

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Tuesday, August 30, 2011

The Refiner's Touch

There was a group of women in a Bible study on the book of Malachi. As they were studying chapter three they came across verse three which says, "He will sit as a refiner and purifier of silver." (Malachi 3:3) This verse puzzled the women and they wondered what this statement meant about the character and nature of God.

One of the women offered to find out about the process of refining silver and get back to the group at their next Bible study. That week the woman called up a silversmith and made an appointment to watch him at work. She didn't mention anything about the reason for her interest in silver beyond her curiosity about the process of refining silver. As she watched the silversmith, he held a piece of silver over the fire and let it heat up. He explained that, in refining silver, one needed to hold the silver in the middle of the fire where the flames were hottest so as to burn away all the impurities.

The woman thought about God holding us in such a hot spot - then she thought again about the verse, that He sits as a refiner and purifier of silver. She asked the silversmith if it was true that he had to sit there in front of the fire the whole time the silver was being refined. The man answered that yes, he not only had to sit there holding the silver, but he had to keep his eyes on the silver the entire time it was in the fire. For if the silver was left even a moment too long in the flames, it would be destroyed.

The woman was silent for a moment. Then she asked the silversmith, "How do you know when the silver is fully refined?" He smiled at her and answered, "Oh, that's the easy part -- when I see my image reflected in it."
***

Right now, I am feeling the heat of the fire. The story about the Refiner's Touch made me smile and gave me strength to endure my current trial. Isn't it funny that I posted last Sunday about how much I wanted to be a reflection of Him? And now, here I am...I feel like shit and just a while ago, I really felt like giving up.

It's amazing how you stumble upon things that will give you answers and affirmations...I know He sees me. I know He loves me.

I have no complaints Lord because after all, I really want to be like You. It's just that I am really hurting and I really need more angels here on earth. Please send them, STAT. =D

***
If today you are feeling the heat of the fire,
remember that God has His eye on you and will keep His hand on you
and watch over you until He sees His image in you.

*the picture is from here*

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Sunday, August 28, 2011

I am a reflection of His love.

I know I am not even close to His reflection but I want to keep on saying that, like a mantra, to remind me of how I want to live my life. I really don't remember when did I started to keep those words in my heart but I am determined to persevere, to live a life that reflects His love. I know I am not doing a good job imitating Him because honestly it is really hard to imitate His compassion, patience, forgiveness, love and faith.

so I pray..
Lord, it has always been my desire to be like You, to show love and to serve Your people in any way that You want me to; guide me, use me and hold me tight whenever I am shaken with trials. Forgive me if at times I can't control myself, my disappointments, my frustrations and anger. Forgive me if I dislike some people; touch my heart and take the negative feelings away. Teach me to love and see people the way You see them.

Lord, I love You so much; may my actions, my thoughts and the words that I speak reflect my love for You.

Is the face that I see in the mirror
the one I want others to see
Do I show in the way that I walk in my life
The love that You've given to me
My heart's desire is to be like You
In all that I do, all I am

Do they see Jesus In Me
Do they recognize Your face
Do I communicate Your love, and Your grace
Do I reflect who You are
In the way I choose to be
Do they see Jesus In Me

It's amazing that you'd ever use me
But use me the way You will
Help me to hold out a heart of
compassionate grace
A heart that You're spirit fills
May I show forgiveness and mercy
The same way You've shown it to me

Now I want to show all the world who You are
The reason I live and breathe
So You'll be the One that they see
When they see me

Amen.


Do They See Jesus in Me
by Joy Williams

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Friday, August 5, 2011

A Walk to Remember


No matter how many times I watch "A Walk to Remember", I always end up crying. It's the sweetest movie I've ever seen. It's the kind of love that I've been dreaming to experience; It's the kind of love that I want.

I remember watching it the first time and cried because the girl died and left the guy; I thought that was tragic. However, as my beliefs mature and the more I see and experience life and especially relationships, the more I get to reflect about the great love that the movie is projecting.

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres." - 1 Corinthians 13: 4-7

It's hard to find an unconditional love, a love that is so great that is always willing to put the happiness of others first. I wonder if God had planned for me to experience that kind of love or if He had planned to make me the giver. I know love should be a give and take thing; but the thought of being a part of an extraordinary love story excites me...or maybe I'm just saying that because I'm still high from the movie. lol

Anyhow, here are a few quotes that I've been keeping in mind and I hope that someday I can use these quotes to describe the kind of life I've lived.


"I don't think that we're meant to understand it all the time.
I think that sometimes we just have to have faith."

"To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent 
people and the affection of children; 
to earn the appreciation of honest critics and
endure the betrayal of false friends; 
to appreciate beauty; to find the best in others; 
to leave the world a little better place than we found it,
whether by a healthy child, 
a garden patch or a redeemed social condition; 
to know even one life breathed easier because you lived. 
This is to have succeeded."

"As I go through my day, I will be mindful
of how my actions affect others. 
The ripple effect of kindness moves swiftly. 
I will be like the stone thrown in the water that starts the movement."

i am a reflection of HIS love ❤

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Friday, July 22, 2011

How He Loves Us

Every time I chat with my friends, we always talk about our trials and how God saved, rescued and helped us deal with the things that we're going through. We talk about our plans, dreams, relationships, struggles, realizations and just everything about Him. It's really funny how each of us comfort each other with "let's just pray for it", "i'm praying for you", "all things are possible",  "He can do anything" and "God knows best" statements; funny because I just realized that that's just how we end every conversation. I shared my story and received those reminders just recently; and a while ago, was my turn to say those words to comfort a friend. 

When life gets difficult and we get frazzled,
staying close to our Christian friends will help us to get through.

I am thankful that He blessed and surrounded me with people who doesn't only believes in Him but also strongly believes that He is the only way. I think it's important for us to be reminded that nobody and nothing can solve our problems or heal our pain without His will for that thing to happen. It's important to keep in mind that our clever plans worked because He made it worked.

Today, I am reminded about His great love. If I can trust an ordinary person to love me, to not hurt me, to think of only good things for me and to be there for me when I need them, why can't I do that for the One who created me, died for me and sees everything that's going on in my present and will happen in my future?


He is jealous for me
Love's like a hurricane, I am a tree
Bending beneath the weight of His wind and mercy
When all of a sudden, I am unaware
of these afflictions eclipsed by glory
and I realize just how beautiful You are
and how great your affections are for me.

So we are His portion and He is our prize,
Drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes
If grace is an ocean we're all sinking
So heaven meets earth like a sloppy wet kiss
and my heart turns violently inside of my chest
I don't have time to maintain these
regrets when I think about the way

He loves us

Oh, how He loves us so
Oh, how He loves us
How He loves us so.




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Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Why I Blog

Before I finally decided to make this space a Christian blog, I used to write random stuffs just to keep this thing alive so I can continuously get offers for a paid post. I wrote and got paid to make reviews for products, services and events. However, I noticed that my posts are becoming more about my experiences and opinions as a believer and so I decided that I should stop blogging for money.

This blog has helped me get through a lot of stages in my faith; writing about my journey helped me evaluate my growth as a Christian. Whenever I feel like giving up, losing hope and struggling with my grasp, I look back and read some of my posts.

"Bring back the fire in my heart, Lord.
Remind me how to let go and trust You."

"We had so much fun that day, Lord. You lifted me up with the angels. You made me forget about the materialistic world and showed me the greater joy that can only be achieved through Your grace."

Those are some of the prayers that I say whenever I visit my previous entries of which some I find strange and unfamiliar, some makes me feel envious of the writer's faith and some makes me laugh about how little her faith is. Maybe this is because I write to give myself a lecture, to remind myself, to do self-talk and to talk to Him.

I can't make an entry whenever I plan to write. I am not a good writer and I know that most of the words in this blog are not mine. Those words just came out at that moment; I nod and reflect while I write because I am also learning from my own posts. If an entry sounds like a prayer, that's just me praying. If a post sounds like as if I am talking to somebody who already knows what's going on, that's just me talking to Him.

An example of an unplanned entry is this particular post that you are reading. I am being reminded to look back on those days when I cried out for mercy and He rescued me, days of which I have things that worries me but I still danced and worshipped Him.


Why do I blog? I guess it's because this is one of His ways of talking to me, one of His ways of reaching out to His daughter who loves to write and be online.


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Monday, July 18, 2011

Seeing The Person Inside

At times when words fail me,
I pray for You to bless their hearts
with ears and eyes like Yours,
so they can hear and see what I meant
with compassion.

At times when I start to build a wall,
curl up in my shell and thicken my mask,
I pray for You to enlighten my heart;
Bless mine with ears and eyes like Yours,
so I wouldn't misinterpret their words.

Cleanse my heart, for I know that it is on parade whenever I speak.
Cleanse my heart and may the words I speak reflect understanding,
patience, compassion and Your grace.

"The peace of God, which surpasses all understanding,
will guard your hearts and minds."


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Friday, July 8, 2011

Intentions of the Heart

As much as possible, I try to see the goodness in people. I remember my mom saying, "Before you criticize a person, find at least one thing that you can compliment about them." I try my best to understand a person's feelings, experiences, their personality and sometimes I picture my self to be in their shoes before I react negatively about whatever "bad thing", in my own opinion, that they said or did.

On the other hand, I was reminded by somebody not to overanalyze things because sometimes, people say and do things because of the most obvious crystal clear reasons that I sometimes rule out because it's just too obvious that it can't and shouldn't be the reason. Sometimes people just say and do things because they want to at that very moment. Maybe it's wrong to do that or maybe not.

Maybe they were wrong and I was right. I don't know, what I know is that in 1 Corinthians 4:5 we are reminded not to condemn or accuse others. It says, “Judge nothing before the time, until the Lord comes, who will both bring to light the hidden things of darkness and reveal the counsels of the hearts”

I believe the Lord said that in the end it's still our motives for doing things that matters, maybe you did the right thing but you had a bad intention or you did the "bad thing" with good reasons. He also said that we should pray and discern for things before we do something about it. Pray that He will bring to light what is hidden in darkness and that He may expose the intentions of other people. 

It takes a lot of courage to let go and a lot of self-control so we can be mindful of our words and actions. Proverbs 4:23 says, “Keep your heart with all diligence, for out of it spring the issues of life”. Monitor your self on how you respond to difficult situations, hurtful words and actions so you can determine what takes root there.

Sometimes, the one pointing the accusing finger turns out to be the guilty one. Sometimes, we think we are the righteous one and we feel the need to correct others; but sometimes in the end it will turn out that we also need a lecture about how we do the correcting.


and so I pray that may the Lord bless me...
with humility to understand and forgive others,
to be quiet so I can listen;
with wisdom to know what to say when I have to speak
or when to say nothing and just let go;
with courage to walk out from things that will 
cause bitterness in my life
and to remove the things that will act like 
weeds and thorns in my heart


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Thursday, June 16, 2011

The Five Love Language

My special someone introduced me to a book entitled The Five Love Language and we both took the assessment from the website in order for us to know our love languages to help us understand each other. According to the book, the five love languages are the following: 
  • Words of Affirmation
    Actions don’t always speak louder than words. If this is your love language, unsolicited compliments mean the world to you. Hearing the words, “I love you,” are important—hearing the reasons behind that love sends your spirits skyward. Insults can leave you shattered and are not easily forgotten.
  • Quality Time
    In the vernacular of Quality Time, nothing says, “I love you,” like full, undivided attention. Being there for this type of person is critical, but really being there—with the TV off, fork and knife down, and all chores and tasks on standby—makes your significant other feel truly special and loved. Distractions, postponed dates, or the failure to listen can be especially hurtful.
  • Receiving Gifts
    Don’t mistake this love language for materialism; the receiver of gifts thrives on the love, thoughtfulness, and effort behind the gift. If you speak this language, the perfect gift or gesture shows that you are known, you are cared for, and you are prized above whatever was sacrificed to bring the gift to you. A missed birthday, anniversary, or a hasty, thoughtless gift would be disastrous—so would the absence of everyday gestures.
  • Acts of Service
    Can vacuuming the floors really be an expression of love? Absolutely! Anything you do to ease the burden of responsibilities weighing on an “Acts of Service” person will speak volumes. The words he or she most want to hear: “Let me do that for you.” Laziness, broken commitments, and making more work for them tell speakers of this language their feelings don’t matter.
  • Physical Touch
    This language isn’t all about the bedroom. A person whose primary language is Physical Touch is, not surprisingly, very touchy. Hugs, pats on the back, holding hands, and thoughtful touches on the arm, shoulder, or face—they can all be ways to show excitement, concern, care, and love. Physical presence and accessibility are crucial, while neglect or abuse can be unforgivable and destructive.
My boyfriend scored the highest for Acts of Service while I scored the highest for Quality Time. It means that he shows love through helping me and he feels loved whenever I help him with something. As for my side, I don't mind helping him because every chance of helping him is a quality time for us.

Gracy Chapman, the author of the book, also wrote God Speaks Your Love Language which according to him, he used the Five Love Language to explain the love relationship of Christians with God. "What makes one person feel loved does not necessarily make another person feel loved. God knows you, and He chooses to speak your Love Language."

I guess that explains the different ways of people in showing how much they love the Lord and how they felt His love. Personally, I feel the presence and love of the Lord whenever I spend quality time with Him. I just realized that lately. It is only when I started to devote time to spend silence and music with Him that I felt his overflowing love again. Interesting book and thoughts, I'll definitely grab a copy.

What's your love language? Take the assessment here

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Tuesday, June 14, 2011

I'll Be There For You

 I was listening to a playlist with songs by Michael Learns To Rock, Lionel Richie, Savage Garden, Boyzone and Kenny Rogers when suddenly it played a song that lead me to a prayer. It's a love song that's often use for a wedding but it felt like a Christian song. It's like my First Love was singing it for me. Here's the lyrics:

I'll Be There For You
by Kenny Rogers

I'll be there for you
You don`t have to feel alone
Like a shadow by your side
I`ll be with you right or wrong

You stumble and you fall
But you can always lean on me
I`ll be there to see you through
I`ll be there for you

I`ll be there for you
When your dreams seem far away
Even in the darkest night
You can face the world unafraid

And if you close your eyes
You will feel me next to you
No matter what you`re going through
I`ll be there for you

Here today, here tomorrow
Through the joy, laughter and sorrow
You`re in my heart with candid souls
If you could read my mind
You`d know ...

I`ll be there for you
The one who comes to your rescue
I`m the one you`ll never leave
I`ll be there for you
No matter what you going through
I'll be there for you

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Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Silence.

picture from The Goossen Grapevine

Remembering the Light,
I see a love that shines for me
Unconditional, omnipresent, endless
Its brightness projects beauty, I'm in awe
It illuminates my darkness with hope
Strength, courage and wisdom
You keep my heart burning



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Thursday, May 19, 2011

May 21, 2011 --Judgement Day?

The end of the world has been calculated and predicted many times by different sects and self-proclaimed prophets and I remember the Y2K fuss the most; I've heard a lot of religious leaders made their followers believe that they know when is the second coming of Jesus and some even claimed that they are "the second coming" Jesus. That's why even though I've been greeted with a man who whispers "Judgement Day! Judgement Day! May 21!" countless of times in my subway stop, I didn't really pay attention to what he's saying. Well, not that I think that it was another end of the world predictions because New York is full of crazy people who shouts, whispers and say completely random things. However, a poster has been posted all over New York about it so I googled up about the date and the Judgement Day book called "Doomsday Code" of which you can buy at Amazon for $14...yes...BUY!

According to WE CAN KNOW, the rapture of believers will take place on May 21, 2011 and that God will destroy this world on October 21, 2011. It was calculated by Harold Camping, the leader of an independent Christian ministry called Family Radio Worldwide. http://www.wecanknow.com/

Mark 13:33-37 says,

Be on guard! Be alert! You do not know when that time will come. It’s like a man going away: He leaves his house and puts his servants in charge, each with their assigned task, and tells the one at the door to keep watch.

“Therefore keep watch because you do not know when the owner of the house will come back—whether in the evening, or at midnight, or when the rooster crows, or at dawn. If he comes suddenly, do not let him find you sleeping. What I say to you, I say to everyone: ‘Watch!’”


I think people can see what they want to see in the Bible. You can come up with whatever date or number you want to get by adding, subtracting, dividing and multiplying whatever numbers that you want to use. I think we can create whatever message using the Bible by taking here and there verses and putting everything together. I think it's wrong. However, these people who are predicting dates can be a good reminder for us. Surely, they caught everybody's attention; it was all over the news. I still believe that nobody can ever tell when the Lord is coming but to have a date set up like that, one can start to think...

"If that day will come, am I ready to face my Creator?"

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Friday, May 6, 2011

Let me tell you something about my mother =)

Every chance I get to tell the world about how blessed I am to have a wonderful family, I'd grab it without any hesitation. I believe, and I know my dad and my brothers will strongly agree, that my mom is the light of our family.

"The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down.", says Proverbs 14:1.

I am thankful that the Lord blessed me with a wise woman to be my mom. She brought us to the Lord. She prayed for us. During my younger years, she would often use her charms and her beautiful eyes to stare at me so I'd be force to do things like praying, going to church, attending prayer meetings, studying, cleaning and cooking. She might be traditional, lecturing me and teaching me how to do things so that my future husband will not bring me back to my parents and say that I can't be a good wife, but hey I learned how to be responsible because of that. She's not only my mother but she is also my best friend. She is not only my best friend but she is also my brothers' and my dad's best friend. I don't know how she can actually divide her self for everybody. She's a wondermom!

"Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to adorn themselves. They submitted themselves to their own husbands.", says 1 Peter 3:1-5

I believe that my dad is also thankful to have her as his wife. My mom is the most patient and loving person I've ever known in my life. She was able to survive the life of an army wife. She raised us while living a life that will surely make a woman worry about their partner's life. I remember how she remained to be loving and understanding despite of the fact that her life as an army wife is more challenging than to be in a long distance relationship. I saw how she lifted up her worries to the Lord. We experienced to have no communication from dad for months and he used to come home at most twice a month. My dad is a workaholic; he loves his job so much. He is blessed to have my mother as wife. She never questioned or made him choose between his passion or his family. She supported and loved him unconditionally. My mom told me that she used to tell me stories and show me a picture of him everyday so that I wouldn't forget about him. I guess that's how I became a daddy's girl even for the fact that I grew up without him on my side 24/7. I have the best relationship with my father and it's all because of my mom.

"You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother’s womb", says Psalm 139:13.

Lord, thank You for this wonderful woman whom you've chosen to be my mother. I pray that You will bless me with the same strength, wisdom, love and beauty so that I will become a wise woman who can build my own wonderful family someday.

Happy Mother's Day, Mommy!
We love you!


A wife of noble character who can find?
She is worth far more than rubies.
Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value.
She brings him good, not harm all the days of her life.
She is clothed with strength and dignity;
she can laugh at the days to come.
She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
She watches over the affairs of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
Her children arise and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her: 
“Many women do noble things,but you surpass them all.”
Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.
Give her the reward she has earned,
and let her works bring her praise at the city gate
 Proverbs 31:10-12 and 25-31

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Sunday, March 20, 2011

Silence and Stillness

I remember my first unplanned date with my present boyfriend--I was really anxious, uncomfortable, a mess and my brain was clouded with thoughts, with questions, with huh, why, what, seriously, this is crazy, funny, haha, hoooo, wait let me breathe..."I can't breathe. Wait, I'm laughing too much. I inhaled a laughing gas." Totally not attractive. So he stopped the car and pressed the eject button...just kidding! He pulled over the car, turned off the radio, told me to relax and then we spent the night sitting quietly.  Sitting quietly! That was my first time to enjoy silence with somebody. It was intimidating at first but it turned out to be an intimate moment for me.

"When you become aware of silence,
immediately there is that state of inner still alertness. You are present.
You have stepped out of thousands of years of collective
human conditioning."

That quote by Eckhart Tolle in Stillness Speaks was one of the quotes that we read during our Singles Worship last Friday. Our lecture about stillness and silence made me reminisce about that "silent date" and the feeling of intimacy that I felt. It made me realize and I am surprise and ashamed to admit that I  haven't actually had that kind of silent  moment with God.

I wonder why. I think it's because the presence of  the Lord is more intimidating than to be with an ordinary being. Yes, I can spend time with Him without telling Him what I want but I can never stay in His presence without telling Him how much I love Him. I say endless words of praises. It's not bad. He's wonderful, amazing, marvelous, magnificent...He's just the best and He deserves to be praised; but because of His greatness I become too overwhelmed that I couldn't help not to tell Him how great He is. 

It's like standing face to face with somebody you wanted to impress, perhaps that person you like or love, you just want to look your best, say the best things and be 100% prepared to do or give whatever that person wants. Again, it's not bad but because I was  too busy thinking and planning about the next big move to make, I missed the opportunity to listen and witness Him. The things that I planned, said, gave and did, maybe weren't the things that He wanted from me.

I imagined the Lord asking me tap water but because I wanted to serve Him so bad and because He's great, I handed Him bottled water. He didn't gave it back  because I was already away looking for a straw and a napkin. Then a sandwich. Then I became busy looking for entertainers for my Special Guest. I became too busy that I didn't even noticed that the Lord didn't touch my bottled water because He's actually allergic to plastics and also to sandwiches.

Silence is intimidating. Silence will give your heart the chance to see. However, stillness is more intimidating. Stillness will allow you to see a person clearly. Stillness can make the components of a solution settle. It's like oil and water being mixed together, you will never have a clear view of how much water or oil is in it unless  you leave it standing for a while.

I think to be still in the presence of the Lord will not only let you hear Him speak but it can  also make you see how much darkness is in you. It's very easy to do little good things to make our selves feel good and to make us think that I am a good Christian, I am a true follower of Christ. We constantly stir the solution so that we can trick ourselves that the water is still pure. It's hard to be still because it's painful to see that we don't deserve the goodness of the Lord. Although we know that the Lord will accept us, that it is by grace that we are saved, I think as a being blessed to know what's right and wrong, we still somehow hope that we have been doing what is right and we can call ourselves deserving of His great love.

It's in stillness that we will be challenge to face our guilt, shame and pride. It's in stillness that we can completely and honestly say, "Jesus, thank You for Your great love and for the cross."

"When you look at a tree and perceive its stillness,
you become still yourself.
You connect with it at a very deep level.
You feel a oneness with whatever you perceive in
and through stillness.
Feeling the oneness of yourself with all things is love."

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Thursday, February 24, 2011

Into the Silence of My Being


 As I delve into the silence of my being,
allow me to see Your love;
the kind of love that never fails to supply me joy,
a love that could replace all my despair with happiness

Your love that could help me see the beauty of things
so I can handle each disappointment and pain with grace
Your love that gives me strength and peace
despite of all my worries and fears

Your love that comforts my weary heart;
I know this broken road will lead me to a better scenery
Your love that makes me shine, sparkle, bloom, glow...
You're holding my hand as I walk this journey

As I delve into the silence of my being,
Lord, envelope me with Your love




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Thursday, February 10, 2011

Because of Your Love


 BECAUSE OF YOUR LOVE
(THE PRODIGAL SON'S LULLABY)

how can I see Your face
and receive Your loving grace
when I am here shamed in sin
hurting You deep within

yet every time I run and flee
You take me home forgiving me
with the skies I feel Your touch
no other love can be this much

You are there as I hide
with Your arms open wide

for You alone
have the greatest love the world has ever known
a love that never ceases to embrace a weary heart
and give a brand new start
provides light where the sun has never shown
now I can understand
that I am here because of Your love

so I take Your gentle hand
only to sin again
and yet You turn then stubbornly
you take me home, forgiving me

how can love as great as this
even want to exist
oh God of all that's good and true
please believe I love You too

though I walk through desert's doors
I will fear nothing more

that I am here because...
you are there as I hide
with Your arms open wide
though I walk through desert's doors
I will fear nothing more
nothing more

as You take me by the hand
that I am here
because of Your

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Tuesday, February 8, 2011

The Broken Road

"Bless The Broken Road"

I set out on a narrow way many years ago
Hoping I would find true love along the broken road
But I got lost a time or two
Wiped my brow and kept pushing through
I couldn't see how every sign pointed straight to you

Every long lost dream led me to where you are
Others who broke my heart they were like Northern stars
Pointing me on my way into your loving arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you

I think about the years I spent just passing through
I'd like to have the time I lost and give it back to you
But you just smile and take my hand
You've been there you understand
It's all part of a grander plan that is coming true

Now I'm just rolling home
Into my lover's arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you

That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you.


It's almost Valentine's Day and I know that there are people out there who will be spending the day of love with a broken heart. Cheer up, you guys! I know that there are no words that could comfort you and lessen the pain that you are feeling. Blab as much as you can about how it hurts. Cry if you have to, but find strength and hope in Him. Know that He is preparing somebody who fits you the best.

I have a secret to tell...*_* I pray for my future lifetime partner. Aside for praying for my present boyfriend, I also pray for my future one. The song Bless The Broken Road became my song for him after a friend of mine shared it to me while I was crying about someone; the words of the song comforted me. It actually made me happy. It reminded me that God is always there for me and He loves me so much. He's a King and I am His daughter; therefore, I deserve and I believe that He'll give me a Prince. hehe.


***

You might also want to read:

The Mastery of Love

It's a reflection about The Mastery of Love, a book given to me by my special someone. I believe that he gave it to me because he noticed that I need to learn more about self-love.

He said in his letter:

"I hope you'll learn a lot from this book because I believe in you. I know you are capable of so much more and you are way better than you give yourself credit for. Don't be afraid to love yourself because I do. Don't be afraid to aim high. If you fall, I'll give you my hand, help you stand up, and say "Try again, I know you can."

I hope you can picture what kind of a man he is. Every day, I thank God that He gave me the opportunity to share a chapter of my life with him. I feel so blessed to have someone who'd literally pray with me, who shares the same faith with me, who constantly reminds me to pray and to...not love him so much. hahaha. I mean, he actually helps me not to let our relationship eclipse my personal relationship with the Lord. I love how he comforts me about my problems and reminds me to let go everything to Him. I also love that he is my praise buddy. I love that he always play worship songs in his car. I love how he makes me laugh and how he carries the extra courage that I needed to do things. I love how rational he is. He's like everything in one and most especially, he is a friend...and...=P enough..hahaha..this page is not about him but yeah, I hope you can picture him.

Even before he became my boyfriend, I was already thanking God that I met him (he's a retreat brother) and the wisdom that he has been blessed. Believe me, I can see his flaws and actually, the first time that I listened to Rascal Flatts' version of Bless the Broken Road was when I cried because of him. hehe That's why, I believe that I will still be able to say prayers of thanks in the future no matter where our shared paths will end. =)



Love Life...

This entry is about my personal relationship with the Lord and the lessons I've learned from my past relationships.






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Thursday, February 3, 2011

A Walk in the Forest



I don't know how You do it but You make my heart so happy about everything in my life. I know You had planned my life differently and I may not understand things sometimes but I trust You. Thank You for being patient on me whenever I throw tantrums and thank You for always making me understand and feel happy at the end of the day. I am aware that my family's facing problems right now. We are dealing with it and I am not worried. I don't know why and I think it's crazy to feel happy when we have this over flowing trials to get through.

Maybe happy is not the right word. Maybe I am calm, confident and excited to see You work on us. It has always been that way; You give us trials we thought we could never survive but there You are, You give solutions, You send people at the right time and things just amazingly fall into place.

I am not going to tell You about our problems, You know it Lord. Deal with it, I surrender everything to You. Instruct my heart. Lead me Lord, I am ready to walk with You.

Whenever I think about the trials that we've been through together, I just couldn't help it, I admire and adore You more. I fall more deeply in love with You. Your love for us is amazing.

Lord, thank You for always being there for me. Thank You for this moment. Thank You for Your love. Thank You for guiding me and teaching me how to be patient. I know You miss me. I miss You too and I've been longing to have this moment with You again.

Lord thank You for the music. Thank You for all the instrumental songs that You always use to lead me to a world where we can sit and talk about random things.

Lord, I love You so much. Thank You for touching my heart and letting me walk with You again. You're simply amazing!

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Sunday, January 30, 2011

Praise God for Our Parents

I grew up going to church almost every Sunday to attend mass and prayer meetings on Saturdays...
with my mom forcing me through her litany of reasons of why I should go plus giving me the most scary and uncomfortable stare that I could think of. I remember thinking about the hopeful treats that I can get after the ceremonies just so I can push myself to dress up even though I knew my mom would say that we should go straight home after the mass so the blessings will go directly in our house instead of it being poured at the mall. Yes, I grew up thinking that malls are full of clothes and things and the cashier with money because of the churchgoers who goes there instead of going home after mass. Oh the excuses of my creative mother to discretely say that we don't have extra money.

In contrast to what people think and say back home in the Philippines, my family is really not wealthy. However, I just didn't feel the lack of material things when I was a child nor did I wished for more than what I have because I have always seen my parents, especially my mom, thank God for everything. She praises Him for even the smallest blessing that you could ever think of and so I grew up knowing that the Lord has always been good to us.

I remember the story of Job; Satan argued about his motives of staying loyal to God. Satan said that Job sees God as a meal ticket and if he weren’t getting what he wanted, he would be cursing Him rather than praying. Honestly, Satan got a point; sometimes we seek God because we know that it is only Him who can give us what we desire, sometimes we pray having the wrong motives. I am at times guilty of this. I pray because I am asking for something. Sometimes, I am like a child who only speaks to her parents just to get an allowance. James 4:3 says, "When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures". I enjoy talking to Him, telling Him about my hopes and dreams and about how my day went but really, sometimes I have prayers like "LORD I AM PRAYING, WHY WON'T YOU GIVE THIS ALREADY" hehe...

I thank God for giving me the kind of parents that I have; They stand as a good example for me. If it weren't for their light shining and guiding me, I think I wouldn't be able to find the strength to glorify God amidst my trials. I think parents are the good example when God said "Let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven." in Matthew 5:16. If it weren't for who they are and what I see in them, I think my ways won't be corrected. Cindy Hess Kasper, in Our Daily Bread devotional for January 30, 2011 entitled Looking and Learning, said that the best way to set a good example for children is (for parents) to live out their faith in front of them. While they’re looking—they’re learning about what matters most.

Job said to God in Job 42:2-3, "I know that you can do all things; no purpose of yours can be thwarted. You asked, ‘Who is this that obscures my plans without knowledge?’ Surely I spoke of things I did not understand, things too wonderful for me to know". This is one of the lessons that my parents had instilled to me: He can do all things. There is nothing that He can't do for me, and unanswered prayer doesn't mean that He's not listening or answering me; “If it is the Lord’s will, we will live and do this or that.” (James 4:15)

Children may not inherit their parents’ talent,
but they will absorb their values.


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Monday, January 10, 2011

Contentment

“As a rule, man’s a fool. When it’s hot, he wants it cool.
And when it’s cool, he wants it hot. Always wanting what is not.”

One of the many things that I've learned from my mom is to be contented and thank God for everything. If we complain about the weather, I'm using that as an example because it's winter and honestly I kinda *sigh* dislike it, she tells us to thank and praise God for it.

"Thank You Lord for the cool air and for giving us the opportunity to see and experience snow", says my mother a couple of times looking out the window while I repeatedly mutter about how cold it is and how the weather makes me lazy.

If it's summer and it's too hot, she tells us to think cool and she'll start saying "Thank You Lord for the sun and the warmth" out loud with all smiles, eyes closed, head facing the sky and sometimes spreading her arms wide as she feels the rays of the sun hit her skin; Her gratefulness to the Lord is so contagious and/or her spirit is just too happy for me to continue murmuring my complains about the burning weather that I end up doing what she does and end up feeling good.

My mom always use the weather to start her sermon about how people are most of the time dissatisfied and hard to please.

We, people, often upgrade our desires and goals whenever we reach one thing; It's actually not bad but what makes it bad is when our hearts become clouded with unhappy thoughts and when we start to have restless days because of our desires to reach those goals. It's bad when we start to feel helpless, insecure, the feeling of wanting to push and to step on people just to be on top and the unhealthy craving of wanting more.

The "I will have it by hook or by crook" or "I am getting there no matter what" statements, though they sound daring and driven is actually dangerous. I think that those words are from a person who forgets to check God's plan. We often see only our immediate circumstances and as a human nature, we automatically work on an action and we strive harder to get going to reach that somewhere we want our selves to be without even consulting Him.

I know it's hard to be patient especially when obstacles block our vision. I know it's too tempting to step higher, to walk further, to accomplish and have more but we must remind ourselves, I must keep in mind, that there is a time for everything. We may not understand everything and God may conceal the purpose of His ways, but we should remember that His ways are not without purpose.

We should learn how to be content in whatever circumstances. We should be, I pray that I will always be, able to say with confidence that "I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through him who gives me strength". (Philippians 4:12-13)

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