Monday, December 28, 2009

I'm a Citizen of Heaven ^_^

9:18 PM 1 Comments

Born of the flesh, conceived in sin,
Then born of the Spirit, new life to begin;
I’ve been washed in Christ’s blood and this will suffice,
Praise God I’m His child, I’ve been born twice!

Father, thank You for my life, for allowing me to enjoy another year here on Earth. Thank You for a great 2009...

For 21 years of living the life that You had given me, I am glad and thankful that You had made my heart, Your home. Thank You for always being there and for not giving up on me. Thank You for loving me, for the people and events in my life that You had sent and made as an instrument to show Your love. Come and, again, make my heart, Your home for 2010.

Lord, words are not enough for me to express how thankful I am that You are our Father and that I am Your daughter. I am in awe and amazed by Your ways, oh God. Deeper and deeper I am falling in love with You.

Thank You Lord for the blessings that I had received for this year-my life, my family, my friends, for allowing me to be back in college, for our new place, for my Christian community, for the gift of faith, for the comfort at times when I was down, for Your overflowing love when I felt empty and most especially for the relationship that I have with You. Thank You Lord for helping me grow as a person and as a Christian.

Lord, forgive me for my mistakes, weaknesses, doubts, worries, and for being stubborn. Father, I am humbled by Your love and of how You accepted me despite of my impurities. Thank You Jesus for being our bridge to Our Father.

Lord, for the year 2010, I pray that You will continue to guide me and to teach me how to listen. I surrender my thoughts and plans. Teach me how to love others and how to be a reflection of Your love for them. Tell me what do You want me to do for You for the coming year, allow me to serve You. I pray for stillness, peace and more of intimate time with You. I pray for happiness for the people I love. I pray for a stronger faith, an understanding heart, patience, perseverance, focus, and peace.

Lord, You know what I need and what I deserve, I can't think of any earthly things as a gift for my birthday... I just want more and more and more of You.

Jesus, My Best friend, My First Love, My Comforter, My Redeemer...I love You so much.

thank You for another year....Happy Birthday to me! ^_^

Monday, December 21, 2009

Falling in love with Jesus

8:03 PM 1 Comments
I love You so much Jesus and I promise to keep the romance going...

I'll talk to You more often and will always include You in my plans. I will listen more and talk less. I will trust You and doubt no more. I'll introduce You to my friends and will tell them the reasons why I love you. I'll speak passionately about You and will not mind what other people will say. I'll make them fall in love You. I'll be mindful of how I act, I don't want to hurt You. I'll kiss You every morning to be energized with Your love and kiss You at night to be comforted by the same. I'll sing songs for You and write You love letters. Father, I will always be Your little child and will preserve that part of me for You.

Lord, ganahan kaayo ko maglambing sa Imo. I love You so much. I'll always keep my love for You overflow. I'll always remind my self of Your love. Jesus, Your love is contagious. Thank You for loving me and teaching me how to love.

Advance Happy Birthday, Jesus... ^_^

Falling in love with Jesus
Falling in love with Jesus
Falling in love with Jesus
Was the best thing that I've ever done

In His arms I feel protected
In His arms Never disconnected
In His arms I feel protected
And There's no place I'd rather, rather be

Lori, thank you for sharing the video.

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Jude 1: 21

11:52 AM 2 Comments

i ran out of creative juice
and i can't find the right words to say what i feel;

but to sum up all my thoughts, i just wanna say that...

I love My Father sooooooo much.
I feel like a child, like a 2-year-old child, sitting on My Daddy's lap and telling Him that I love Him so much.

Friday, December 11, 2009

Happy Birthday Mommy! (December 12)

6:25 AM 3 Comments
There's no day that I wouldn't thank God for giving me such a great mom. Thank you for being the best mommy and for being my best friend. The stories you've told me, the lessons you've shared, the way you live your life and the way you love God, inspired me to become a better person.

I admire you for being strong,
for having the passion to serve other people,
for having the heart to help others
even if it means giving them what you have,

for being so forgiving
no matter how badly you were hurt,

for knowing how to say sorry
when you know you are wrong,

for always seeing the goodness in people
even if others had told you a thousand
negative adjectives about them,

for being a patient devoted teacher
who spends time to think of ways and activities
just to help your students,

for being a loving sister to your siblings
and daughter to my grandparents,

for being the best example of a good wife,
for being the best mom-
having the right balance of being cool and strict,

for being a sweet child of God.

Happy Birthday, Mommy!
You deserve the best because you are the best!

Great Mom

Happy birthday, Mom!
I hope everyone can see,
What a great mom you’ve always been,
And how much you mean to me.
I always think about you,
In times both good and bad,
For the things you taught are with me,
In happy times and sad.
So on this day I wish you joy,
Just like you pass around.
May all your good times multiply,
And happiness abound.

Friday, November 13, 2009

L O V E <3

5:33 AM 4 Comments

To Write Love On Her Arms is a non-profit movement dedicated to presenting hope and finding help for people struggling with depression, addiction, self-injury and suicide. TWLOHA exists to encourage, inform, inspire and also to invest directly into treatment and recovery.

November 13 is To Write Love On Her Arm day all you need to do is write LOVE somewhere on your arm. It may be you are directly or indirectly affected by someone with a mental illness or perhaps you are indeed suffering yourself. Please spare a thought for those suffering around the world and please spare a thought for families and friends who have lost a loved one due to suicide. Someone might just see it and know that you care.

Visit my friend

Thursday, November 12, 2009

The Brooklyn Bridge

4:04 PM 0 Comments

Last Wednesday, our class watched a 3-hour film about the history of Brooklyn Bridge. It's a good documentation, packed with information about New York. However, sometimes my mind would wander while I pretend to listen. I found it boring in the beginning but there was something in the film that had caught my attention and made me attentive.

One of the historians said, "Thinking that the Brooklyn Bridge has always been there and not being able to appreciate and realize that there is a great man behind it, is stupid. It is just plainly stupid..."

I smiled when I heard him say that. True, we sometimes neglect to appreciate the history behind the things that we have. It is true that when we went to see the bridge, I only noticed how beautiful it was and not how amazing its history is. But I didn't smile because I thought I was stupid for not being able to realize that there is a man behind it.

I smiled and thought, "What about the world?".

I think it is more stupid to think that everything in this world, the perfectly done place that we are living and even how perfectly our organs in the body were arranged, has always been there. I think it is more stupid that we are easily amazed by how clever people are but we neglect to see the loving hands of Our Father who created and made all of these things.

Thursday, November 5, 2009

A Day with my First Love

11:32 AM 2 Comments
Here I am, alone, with You my Lord in a place where colorful trees grow, where the most fragrant flowers glow, where the silence makes me sway and where Your Love for me embraces my love for You.

You are holding my hand while we walk in the air. Your face, Your smile, speaks to me with love. I stand in awe of You. I've never felt so beautiful. Your presence lifts me up and the bliss I feel makes me shine. I am precious.

You are amazing God! Words are not enough for me to describe how wonderful You are. Your love for me inspires me to love You more and more everyday. Your love for me cleanses my heart. I love You Father. I miss You everyday.

I'll always be your little child. Papa, Daddy, Abba, Father...You will always be my First Love. You will always be my number one. You will always be my everything. I love You so much My Lord. Jesus, thank You for making me see how wonderful it is to be a part of Your family.

Thank You for this day.

Tuesday, November 3, 2009


6:15 AM 0 Comments
Ever since I became a follower of Christ, I started to learn new things in my journey that I haven't even thought about when I was still in the "knowing God" stage. Knowing Him is just being consciously aware that He is true and He is alive but being aware of those things is not enough. We have to follow Him, open our hearts and listen to His teachings because His words are not only the food of our soul but also our guide on how to enjoy the life that He had given us.

When my faith was still young, I used to pray like my prayers are scripted and I don't really feel like My Father is my closest friend. My thank yous and adoration are short cut versions but my begging for the things that I want and need takes me maybe a quarter of my praying time. I felt like I have to repeat everything because I had this feeling that maybe He doesn't get it and then after praying I would be so worried that maybe He still doesn't get it and so I start to "solve" it myself. Isn't it that most of us felt the same when we were still starting on this journey? Isn't it that most of us thought that once we say a prayer, then that was it? Praying used to be like just for the sake of saying a prayer but then after it we would still trust our own thoughts and desires.

Prayer without expectancy is unbelief in disguise.

Often times we say that we believe in Him but then our actions speak otherwise. I am guilty of that and this quote had strucked me. It is really hard to let go and let God and to trust Him to make the decisions in our lives but in Matthew 7:11 it says that "If you . . . know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask Him!"

My Father in Heaven loves me (us) so much and because of that I believe that He'll give me great things. When I pray for something and He doesnt't give, I should not feel bad about it. I should remember that He wouldn't give me something that won't do any good for me. He can see my future and so, would He give me the things that I am asking that can make my future bad? He wouldn't!

Missionary William Carey stated: “Expect great things from God. Attempt great things for God.” God desires to equip us perfectly for what He wants us to do, and He invites us to “come boldly” to find mercy and grace in time of need (Heb. 4:16).

When we as God’s children are living in faith, we can have an exciting expectancy and a quiet confidence that God will give us exactly what we need, when we need it (Matt. 7:8-11).

When with expectancy we pray
According to God’s will,
We’ll see Him working in our lives
His purpose to fulfill.

Sunday, October 18, 2009

Eucharist: Heaven and Earth Unite

11:26 AM 2 Comments
Today, I had a very great experience during the Sunday Eucharist. God is so great and I am in awe and humbled by His grace. "Why are You letting me experience these things Lord?", I often ask that question. I know I am not perfect. I am a perfect sinner and by just knowing that, I become more grateful that despite of being who I am, He still loves me.

Last night, I was telling Him that I love Him so much and I don't know where to pour my love for Him. I felt like everything I do is not enough. I want more of Him so much and I want to be with Him always. I wanted to be still but I can't because I have to study. I wanted to serve His people by becoming a nurse but I can't because I am not yet done with my studies.

What do You want from me Lord? Where do You want me to serve You? Where can I sing Your praises? I heard You call my name, Lord and I am moved within me. Your Spirit stirs my deepest self and because of that, I know I am now ready to sing Your song. Fire my life with Your love and allow me to share it to others. Let me be Your servant, oh God.

We sang the Servant Song during the service today and it had sent me to an intimate mood with Him. I was closing my eyes when I suddenly smelt incense burning followed by the sweet fragrant of flowers. I was wondering where it came from and so I opened my eyes. I was amazed because suddenly I found my self closer to the altar. The surroundings were full of clouds and there was light everywhere. We seem to float and I can no longer see the floor because of the light. I felt peace and joy. I wanted to look around but the light was strong, I had to close my eyes and so I did. The fragrant of the flowers was still there and so I kept on praising and thanking Him. I stopped wondering and became still in His presence. I listened to the choir and my heart is telling me that those were angels.

Then, suddenly the scent was gone. I opened my eyes, the consecration of the body and blood was done and everything is back to normal.

Oh Lord You are amazing! I love You so much and thank You for this day.

Friday, October 16, 2009

I Love You

7:57 PM 0 Comments
Sometimes words are not enough for you to say what you really mean. And even though it has been quoted that action speaks louder than words; I think, sometimes actions are still not enough to show what you really feel. The best words hasn't been made and the best action hasn't been discovered for me to show You how much I love You.

I may have caused You pain a lot of times, I may have taken You for granted because of my "busy" life, I may have been distracted a couple of times and even if I know You know how much I love You; I still wanna say that I will never get tired of letting You feel my love. I miss You everyday. I miss spending a private moment with You. I miss the stillness that Your presence gives. I pray that I could have more days like this, just You and me.

Oh God, I'm in awe of Your beauty! I'm humbled by the love that I can feel from You. Thank You for loving me so much. Thank You because You never gave up on me. You've been patient on me and I could never thank You enough for understanding my flaws. Your love for me makes me better than I'll ever be.

Every time I think of You, my heart leaps because of the joy that Your love brings. Every time I think of You, I'm missing You. I want to leave everything behind and be with You. I love You so much. I love You very very much. I want more of You everyday and I want to do more for You.

I love You so much Lord.
Jesus, I love You.

Snoopy and God

10:13 AM 0 Comments

The Dog Who Never Did Anything

Snoopy remembers it this way, “You stay home now,” they said, “and be a good dog.”

So he stayed home and was a good dog.

Then he decided to be even a better dog. So he barked at everyone who went by. And he even chased the neighbor’s cats.

“What’s happened to you?” they said. “You used to be such a good dog.”

So he stopped barking and chasing cats, and everyone said, “You’re a good dog.”

The moral, as Snoopy typed it, is “Don’t do anything and you’ll be a good dog.”


As I turned the smile around in my mind, I noticed a quirk of the English language. Snoopy and God have something in common. They are related not only by alphabet (dog and god), but by what “creatures in the middle” expect of them. The idea intrigued me enough to try another version.

The God Who Never Did Anything

“You give me what I want now,” they said, “and be a good God.”

So He gave them what they wanted and He was a good God.

Then He decided to be an even better God.

He started knocking over the furniture of other gods, and He used pain to help people in ways they could not understand.

“What’s happened to You?” they said.

“You used to be such a good God.”

So He stopped knocking over the furniture of other gods, and He stopped using pain in ways that were beyond people’s ability to understand.

And everyone said, “You’re a good God.”

The moral, as angels might see it, “Stop acting like God and people will think You’re good.”

From Our Daily Bread

Thursday, October 1, 2009

Faith Baby

6:25 PM 0 Comments
hmmmm..I don't know how to do this entry but I was blog hopping when I stumbled upon a very cute blog and I really really want to share it. I don't have some creative juice today, so I'll just share it directly.

I love babies so much. I love children so much. I want to work as a pediatric nurse. are two of my favorites from Faith Baby. Visit them and buy!

Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Thinking About What I'm Thinking

10:36 AM 0 Comments
I know I have to leave and study my Anatomy notes. It's exactly 1:20pm in my watch and I have a quiz at 5:45pm but here I am in the computer laboratory, blog hopping. I don't usually blog hop during my vacant time. I've been actually stucked with facebook most of the days but this time, I don't know, I'm just hungry to read about Him. I'm hungry to hear how God is working on other people's lives.

and here's the latest about me...

I have a professor in my present school who is brilliant and knows a lot of stuffs. He actually calls Americans as dumb and ignorant because they don't know much. He said they are not getting the right information because they don't read as much as he does and they don't access to the world of knowledge. The way he talks about "getting informed" and "being knowledgeable" is really contagious. His passion of knowing things inspires me to feed myself with the informations that he is sharing. However, one day he said that the Bible is just a book. It's a book, just like any other books, that was written by ordinary people. "Why would I believe and follow some book written by ordinary people?", he said. He continued to say, "I am a Spiritual person. I can be good without following the Bible. Don't get me wrong, I was an assistant pastor in my church before; but when I came to read about the history, I found out that the Bible was just written by whoever was in power during their times." I stopped listening and started praying.

The following week, it actually happened last week so I should say yesterday, we had a class and before we ended the session he told us to think why we are thinking what we are thinking.

Why do I believe in Him? Why do I believe and love my Bible so much? Why I value His word so much? Why will I believe that the Bible was God's words and not just from ordinary people?

I am really not sure if I can defend my stand with the right words but here you go. In my case, I've been taught about His love ever since I was still young. I know His stories but I never really had a relationship with Him until He did something in my life. I used to be lazy going to mass, the Bible doesn't interest me, I used to think that reading the Bible is just for the mass, I thought that I don't need to do so much effort to be closer to Him just as long as I stay good and praying used to make me fall asleep. But there's one prayer that I always say and I wasn't expecting that God would listen to that short prayer.

I prayed, "God, I want to be closer to You. Please do something that can make me love You. I don't want to be active today and then the next day be lazy again. I want You to do something that will make me love You no matter what happens."

He answered my prayer. He did something and there was a change of heart. I don't know, it's just that I can't stop talking about Him. I can't stop showing that I love Him. He made me interested to read the Bible. He answers me through the Bible. The Bible gives me the exact words that I need. He comforts me through it. He guides me and help me decide through His words. He even scolds me through the Bible. He tells me what my heart really contains that my mind is trying to deny. It's just too much of a coincidence to say that the Bible is not from God. He speaks through the Bible.

I guess the only answer I can give my professor is that, I wasn't just thinking. I can see, feel and hear Him speak through the Bible. It's not just a book. It's my Father's words for me.

It's now 2:30pm, got to review for my quiz. ^_^

Please Pray for the Philippines

9:38 AM 1 Comments

Please keep the Filipinos in your prayers because there's another storm coming in our country. It's not yet over. ='(

reposted from facebook:

Please help flood victims in the Philippines, donations (medical supplies,used clothes, blankets, etc.) accepted at Bayanihan Community Center 40-21 69th St. Woodside, NY. Contact 718-565-8862. In New Jersey contact Nick at 917-476-785...5.. and for the rest.. please keep the Filipinos in your prayers as they struggle against this devastating calamity that hit our country.

STATE OF CALAMITY...To all friends/family who live in Canada and US who wish to help in the rescue and relief operations, you may donate through the American Red Cross. Call 1-800-435-7669 Specify Philippines relief operations.

You can also donate to to help Ondoy victims. Please put "Philippine relief fund" or "typhoon Ondoy" to expidite the funds to help the victims of Ondoy.

Friday, September 25, 2009

Search Me, Oh God

10:15 AM 2 Comments
I'm preparing myself for my 2nd Life in the Spirit Seminar here in NY. The expected participants for the seminar were given a shepherd to help us evaluate and prepare ourselves for it. Last Tuesday, I met my shepherd for the first time and she asked me a question that I was expecting to be asked. She asked me if I still have any issues in my heart that may hinder the work of the Spirit. I immediately said, aside from my worries about my visa, I don't think I have any. I sound so hypocrite but honestly that's what I thought because I had already confessed and forgiven myself and the people from my past. Now, I am ashamed of myself. I answered without even evaluating my heart. Whatever reason I may give as an excuse, I know I was wrong. I should have just kept my mouth shut and reflect with the question. Note to self, some questions doesn't need to be answered right away. ^_^

I have read that to keep plants looking fresh, you have to wipe them off regularly because the dusts that are accumulating on the leaves can actually prevent the light from getting to them. No matter how tiny the particles are, if we just take them for granted, it will pile up and can become a thick layer. It's just like our "little" sins.

Resentments, sharp words, impure thoughts, or selfish attitudes, all take their toll on our spiritual vitality. These things can become a thick layer that can keep the light of God from entering our hearts. If the accumulation of unconfessed sin has gathered on your soul, do as David did—confess it to the Lord. (Psalm 32:5)

I praise God for His constant reminder that I have to persevere everyday to keep my heart clean.

Search Me, Oh God
Steve Green

Search me, oh God
Reveal my heart
Expose my sin that it may be confessed
Search me, oh God
Unveil each thought
And leave no hidden motive unaddressed
Uncover every action born in pride
Show me the worldly ways I still embrace
May every anxious thought be brought to light
And each unspoken fear with faith replaced

Search me, oh God
Observe my life
Bring to my mind each idle word I speak
Search me, oh God
Test my resolve
And alert me where you find it weak

Reveal all weakened walls within my soul
Show me potential dangers unforeseen
Then clothe my conscience with your holiness
Help me guard it well and keep it clean

Search me, oh God
That I may walk in peace
Filled with the joy of knowing all is well
My heart surrendered and my conscience clean
So great a joy my tongue can scarcely tell
Oh what a joy to know that all is well

Confession of sin lets the light of God's
forgiveness shine through.

Thursday, September 24, 2009

I'm in Awe of YOU

7:42 AM 2 Comments
my scribbles during my class

Oh Lord My God,
Your love gives me peace whenever I am in troubled.
Your presence comforts me whenever I feel alone.
Your promises gives me strength whenever I am weak.
Your Son's example humbles me whenever I achieve something.
Your greatness pulls me closer whenever I go astray.
Your strong arms carries me whenever I get tired.
Your words gives me courage whenever I feel like giving up.
Your creations inspires me to move on whenever I fail.
Thank You God. Thank You Jesus.

Life is beautiful because You came.
Life is great, it will never be the same.

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Love Letter

8:01 PM 0 Comments
Dearest My First Love,

I haven't written You a letter nor have I written something about You for a very long time, and because of that I know You miss me. I know You miss me because I know how much You love me. You love me too much that there are times I just felt like I know You'd understand. We've talked, I talked a lot lately. I've been telling You my problems, my worries, my pains, my confusion, my excitement, my my my. I didn't stop talking and I had failed to listen. I had also taken for granted our relationship. I had stopped talking about us and I know that You had waited for me. I am sorry dear God.

I miss You so much Lord and I am sorry that the things that I am facing right now had led my attention to other things. I love You Lord. I love You so much and thank You for being my Greatest Savior. Thank You for calling my attention and for letting me have this moment to be with You again. I miss the days when the instrumental music was playing and then I would close my eyes and You'll just comfort me and give me peace. I miss those days Lord but at the same time I am also thankful that You had trusted me to be out in the world again. Thank You for letting me meet new people and for allowing me to finish my studies. I am sorry if I got overwhelmed. Please keep me grounded and hold me tighter. I don't want to be away from You.

Jesus, thank You for reminding me that You should be my First and that You'll bless the broken road and You will lead me to where I should be. Guide me Jesus. Take my hand and pull me if I need it.

My God, there are no words that I could ever use that can help me express how thankful I am that You came into my life. Without You Lord, I know I couldn't make it this far. Lord, thank You for taking care of me and for sending angels who had brought Your message. I love You Lord! I love You so much.

My First Love, My Savior, My Comforter, My Protector, My Strength and My One True Love...My God, I love YOU and I miss YOU big time! Thank You for this day.


Monday, July 13, 2009

I Can't Feel His Presence

6:10 PM 9 Comments
Have you ever experienced being discouraged to talk to God just because You can't feel His presence anymore?

I had experienced that! There are days when I would talk to Him and instantly I can feel His presence. I feel good, satisfied, and sometimes overwhelmed by His presence. I also love talking to God through my Bible, like I would pray and He would reply through it. It felt like as if I am chatting with Him because amazingly the Bible verse would directly talk to me. These experiences gave me a lot of encouragement to be closer to God. It had made me felt that I am in the right track and that I had made Him happy. However, there are also times when no matter how I submit myself, concentrate and be still, I just can't feel Him anymore and that would made me discouraged. Of course, I felt bad because I was discouraged but at the same time it had made me wonder why I can't feel Him anymore. I would still talk to Him but I would always question Him and well sometimes feel bad because He seems to be distant.

Last month, God had blessed me to join a retreat and I didn't expected that He would answer my long time question from that event. I had learned that talking to God doesn't always have to make us feel good. Sometimes, God would take away that overwhelming feeling whenever we communicate with Him because sometimes we just pray because of that feeling. That thought had made me reflect and question my intention of talking to God. Do I pray because I want to be with Him or do I just pray because it feels good to talk to Him?

I thank God for that retreat and for teaching me another lesson that can help me with my journey. Now I say, "Father, it's okay. You don't have to let me feel that You are there. I believe that You are there and I know that You will never abandon me."

Thursday, July 9, 2009

Your Strong Arms, My GOD, Gives Me Stength to Welcome the Rain

3:30 PM 3 Comments

Strong Arm

My child I knew you before the world began
I was there everytime you put your name on the sand
But lately I know you've been through quite a storm
My child I've been there, since the day you were born

Oh, and I rule the wind. Yes and I calm the sea
And the sun won't go down until I say that it can leave
Just as sure as my Word I stand here right by your side
And if you're just too weak to go on
Remember child...I'm your strong arm

Now people will wonder, and they'll stand amazed
They say you're a miracle and I will be praised
And even though your pain has been too hard to bear
Just know that I am with you, there's no need to despair

This song was shared by a friend of mine as a suggestion for our duet on July 19, 2009 as a part of our presentation for the community. I was also looking for songs that I could carry to sing that time, songs that are easy to sing and at the same time speaks on what I truly felt. I was really down last week and found Bring the Rain. Even though somehow I can relate to it, apart of me knows that I don't and can't feel the song deeply...well, guess what? God truly knows how to comfort me. He knows the right words to say whenever I am not okay. He knows what song is perfect for what I am going through.

He has always been my strong arm but maybe I was too down to remember that. Thank you Lord for Your great love and for all the miracles that You've shown me. Thank You for reminding me that You're just there and that You will never abandon me. Thank You for restoring my strength so that I could welcome the rain that You will bless me.

Bring the Rain

I can count a million times
People asking me how I
Can praise You with all that
I've gone through
The question just amazes me
Can circumstances possibly
Change who I forever am in You

Maybe since my life was changed
Long before these rainy days
It's never really ever crossed my mind
To turn my back on you, oh Lord
My only shelter from the storm
But instead I draw closer through these times
So I pray

Bring me joy, bring me peace
Bring the chance to be free
Bring me anything that brings
You glory And I know there'll
be days When this life brings me pain
But if that's what it takes to
praise You Jesus, bring the rain

I am yours regardless of the clouds that may
loom above because you are much greater than
my pain you who made a way for me suffering
your destiny so tell me whats a little rain

Sunday, July 5, 2009

Your Grace is Sufficient for Me

2:21 PM 4 Comments
Lately I've been in a lot of ups and downs in terms of my emotions in dealing with the trials that we are going through right now. Sometimes there are days when I will be filled with hopes and strength to face the day and lifting my future to Him but there are also days when all I want to do is just breakdown and find a solution for everything in an instant. I know it won't help me if I will force to solve everything on my own and try to take the work in dealing things from God. Doing that will never help me in anyway, afterall, He knows what's the best for me.

I would like to thank everybody for praying for us and for my situation. It really helps when you have people who can lift you up everytime when you feel weak and drained to keep on moving. God is really amazing to save me from myself.

He said, "My grace is sufficient for you, for power is made perfect in weakness." 2 Cor 12:9

Therefore I will boast about my weaknesses for by the time I had learned to acknowledge it, God can work on me. I thank you Lord for everything that you have done for me and for the people you sent to comfort me.

I hope you will never get tired on praying for me and, again, thank you very much. ^_^

Thursday, June 11, 2009

Rest in Peace Grandpa!

5:55 PM 9 Comments
I would just like to make a quick post to thank everybody who had prayed for my grandfather. It may be hard for everybody but I still thank God for His ways. I believe that it is better to die due to sickness than to have a sudden death. I know He is with our Father right now for I believe that he already received Jesus and forgiveness took place before he expired.

I had so many great memories with my grandfather and I believe that having those days with him is a blessing. I could say that I am lucky because I was able to spend time with him while he was still strong. He is also the only grandparent whom I have seen and had memories because my other grandparents died when I was still young. Moreover, he is not just the father of my mom but he is also a good friend of my dad.

I just wish I had the chance to take care of him while he was still in the hospital. I wish we can go home to the Philippines so we could say goodbye to him. I wish he knew that I love him.

May you rest in peace lolo...I know you could hear what's inside my heart.

Sunday, May 24, 2009

A Celebration of Life

5:21 PM 2 Comments
My grandfather is still in the ICU right now but I am really thankful that there are a lot of people who are helping us to pray for him. It is very comforting to know that every now and then somebody had whispered our concerns to God. I praise Him more for the wisdom and skills that He had bestowed to that someone who had invented the internet as well as blogging because through it, I had found another way to communicate and share my journey with Christ. It is really helpful to have friends who can push you up and support you whenever you are getting weak. I thank God for family and friends because without them, I know I might had decided to stay on the ground after I had stumbled.

My lolo is not yet well but I know his life is in the hands of God, just like how our life is... Have you ever had a near death experience? Never had? I am not only talking about being sick and having a 50/50 situation in the hospital bed. The reason why I am asking you that is because I want to share some stories that we had shared during our dinner a while ago about the instances wherein God showed us his miracle. And because of those miracles, I want to celebrate my life and my family's life with you...

My story:

One of my earliest memory that I have about God's guidance and protection was when I was still about 7 or 8 years old. My dad was a soldier and he comes home like only twice a month, because of that whenever he's with us our family will always prepare something special for our meal. But there was one time when he came home and we didn't had the chance to do the grocery, so my dad and I decided to go to the wet market to buy the ingredients for our dinner. We were riding his motorcycle that time and we were traveling on a dark highway going home. The road was quiet and there were only few cars and jeepneys that are passing and there was another motorcycle traveling aside from us. While in the middle of the road my dad suddenly said that his heart was beating faster after he saw that motorcycle andd so we decided to stop on the side for a few seconds. Then after the other motorcyle had passed by us we then decided to move on...and there we saw a horrible scene. The motorcycle who was trying to overtake us was hit by a big truck. The scene was bloody scary. The driver's body was all over the place. (May that man rest in peace with God)

It could have been us if we didn't stopped for a while, allowed the man to go ahead of us and, most of all, if God didn't sent His Holy Spirit to give my dad a message. This is my second life (probably it could be more than that) and I want to celebrate it with you!

My dad's story:

I was 13 years old when this incident happened and I praise God for giving us a warning and protecting my dad that time.

My mom was in the charismatic prayer meeting that time when we received God's message through the gift of vision to all the people who were in that service that time. Everybody, except my mom, had seen through a vision that my dad will be shot. He's a soldier and his life was always in danger during that time. When the members shared the same vision to my mom, everybody decided to do a vigil to fight for the foreseen tragedy that may happen. My father was in the field that time and we didn't have communication with him.

Our family prayed and surrendered our fears and also the life of my father to Him. We fought through praying and the battle was successful. God confirmed it through prayers.

When my dad came home, we told him about the vision and he told us about the proof of God's promise. He said he usually pass in this road going home when suddenly along his journey he decided to stop by in this small store to buy a soda. He doesn't drink soda that much and doesn't like that much enough for him to stop for a while. Just minutes after he had stopped, an ambush happened not so far away from the store. There were soldiers who got killed (may they RIP with God).

My father got home safe with a testimony for all us about God's guidance and protection and God's miracles through the gifts He had given to His people. With that, I want to celebrate my dad's life with you.

I believe that my grandfather will be okay, He's life is in the hands of God. Whatever he is going through right now, I know it is just part of his journey and it's effect is also part of our journey. This may be difficult for him and for us physically, emotionally and financially but I believe that our prayers and your prayers will help lighten up everything.

Friday, May 22, 2009

Please Help us Pray for My Grandfather

5:40 PM 6 Comments
As I was writing my previous entry about my prayer request for my grandfather, I was not really aware of how he is doing for we only had received a text message from my brother that he is in the ICU and that he was diagnosed to have brain tumor. The news didn't actually sink in but I know I have to humble myself and ask for more prayers. A while ago I was able to chat with my aunt and the news is heartbreaking.

My aunt was not able to give me the medical terms about the diagnosis but she had told me that the size of the tumor is 5.5cm x3.5cm x3.5cm(LWT). His bladder is now distended because he was not able to urinate even if he already has the catheter. He also needs to have insulin shots right now.

The most heartbreaking part is that we can't afford to give him the right treatment that he needs. For less than 2 days the initial bill in the hospital was 15000php, about $300, and the CT scan costs 7000php (about $150). She said that the nurses in the hospital were already scolding them because they can't buy the medicines that my grandfather needs. They brought my grandfather to a private hospital during the emergency because it was the nearest to them but now that they had decided to bring him to a public hospital, the private hospital won't release him because the bills are not yet paid. The longer they stay in the private hospital, the more the bills will increase and they are just staying there for the doctors and the room and not for his treatment. Some of the needed tests were not yet done because they don't have the money to pay for the lab.

='( It is painful because my aunt said that my grandfather is still fighting. If only we could have money to give them...but I believe this is not just about the money. God is still the best healer and even without the money, if He permits, I know he'll be well. I know He is with us and everything will just be fine through Him.

Please help us pray for him and for our family.

Thank you very much.

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

God's Throne

6:28 AM 6 Comments
I've been a while for a long time now but, praise God!, it is not because I am facing some troubles. ^_^ It is because He had added more time for me to be in the church. I praise Him more for what He have done for me and for the changed He had made in my life. I am amazed by how He works and how perfectly everything goes after I had surrendered all my burdens.

Jesus changed my life after the healing He had given me and after He had made it easier for me to see the grudges I had kept in my heart for a very long time. Our minds can truly force us to believe that we had already forgiven and forgotten the things that people had done to us but, honestly, our heart can clearly give us the picture of the truth. If you ask me about my past months ago, I can definitely relate the story to you from the beginning without getting tired of justifying why I set walls to people. I never felt tired of retelling it and I can honestly give you a year by year story of my past and cry and feel proud of myself that I can say "Oh, I had forgiven them." But it is different now, now that Jesus had taught me a lot of things and changed me big time. I praise Him for He had taught me a valuable lesson about forgiveness.

God's ways are truly perfect and, I don't know if it is the right term but well I have to say it, it is well-planned. My college application here in New York got accepted after 3 terms of being late and failing to produce my lacking requirements. I had also passed the college placement exam so by May 28 I will be joining the registration for the Fall 09 semester. I am grateful about it because I realized that if my application was accepted months ago, I know I will find it hard to adjust because I was like this someone who would automatically produce a thick wall to surround myself once I meet new people. I was like an anti-social person who loves to talk to online friends because I believe online friends can't hurt me. ^_^ I also thank God for training me for a new school environment by giving me the chance to read the scriptures on a Wednesday mass. To be a part of a mass is one of my dream and God made it come true and I also consider it as a training for my confidence in facing new people that I consider foreigners. ^_^

I also want to praise God for giving me the chance to be alone here in our house so I could be with Him. I love to pray while I am listening to instrumental songs and before I could allow myself to be in a state of peace, I prayed and ask God to help me visualize Him and He gave me Ezekiel 1. It was a wonderful verse that I had never read the way I had read it before. It was like a new verse for me and I thank Him for that.

I had also prayed for some things like our application for green card, the application for permanent resident of the Costales Family in New Zealand and for our desire to get my older brother Philip from the Philippines so we could be together here in New York. I was claiming in His mighty name that what we desire will be granted as soon as June but I had told Him that I know His time is the best time for everything. God answered me using Psalms 20 and Psalms 21. Praise GOD!

I will praise His name forever! I love Jesus so much and forever I will worship Him for all great things that He has done and promised me.

Thursday, April 2, 2009

The Kingdom of Jesus (story)

5:46 AM 5 Comments
Have you been to the Kingdom of Jesus? I heard it's a nice place to visit...well actually I have seen their advertisement yesterday. I saw their invitation on the television and also I received a leaflet at the mall. They are inviting people to visit their place and they also said that they are now welcoming people to be their citizen. I don't know if I would like to be a Christian,that's what they call their citizens, just like Americans in America, but I will surely go and visit that place.
The Kingdom of Jesus is great! They welcomed me with trumpets and songs, with a bouquet of flowers, a lei and some fruits I have never tasted before. I was really surprised and I felt like they have mistaken me for somebody else. I never had reservations, neither arranged any kind of vacation packages. I wonder how they got my name or knew I was coming...oh well, they must have taken all names of the people from the airline we've been. I wasn't actually the only one who was surprised but we enjoyed it anyway. After all, they didn't ask for any payments anyway not even a tip for the performers.

This country must be very rich. With the kind of service that they give and the kind of place they have, how couldn't it be? Plus, the great thing is that they said I shouldn't think of paying everything while I am here. They said there's no catch. They served me the best of things even if I chose to have the simple one. Whatever for now! I'll just sue them if they will ask me to pay a large amount of cash. They insisted and they even said that they only have the best. I'm sure I am not the only one who will file a complain later. I should better enjoy this place now like everyone else.
This place is amazing! A month of being here alone for a vacation and not being bored at all is just amazing! I met new friends here from the games, sports, parties, beach and all the like. The crews are really friendly! But I had only met visitors...I am really looking forward to meet some citizens because I want to ask if this place is really great. I asked the guard/head of the crew or whatever that guy should be called this morning about how to be a citizen and he said that the immigration office and the gate to the kingdom will be open for public viewing tomorrow.

"Gate to the kingdom?", I nearly shouted.
"Yes, gate to the kingdom. Just like a resort, for example, they have what we called a reception area. You are still now in the reception area of the Kingdom of Jesus. Tomorrow you will be allowed to view the gate and somebody will explain everything further but I assure you that choosing to be a Christian is the best thing that you can do.", he explained.
"Whatever about being a Christian...I am still in a reception area? This greatness is just a reception area?", I thought.
We are not at the hall waiting for the speaker to introduce the Kingdom of Jesus. Millions of people are now gathered in this area. Imagine, millions! This reception area is really big for it to cater all of us. How much more the actual kingdom? The thought of it makes me giggle and really excited. I am sure these people are thinking the same. The service at the "reception area" was really great and definitely it would make you want to stay there forever.

"Did you have fun?", the speaker began.
People replied with a yes and a cheer.
"The Kingdom of Jesus is different than the area where you are right now. The Kingdom of Jesus is just beyond words for you to express your feelings of fulfillment. The Kingdom of Jesus is all about happiness. Can you see that building?", he pointed to a structure that I can compare to a White House at Washington DC, "In that building you will have your preparation."

The speaker said that the Kingdom of Jesus is a wonderful place and just perfect. That's why they have to screen the people who would want to live in that place. The place is just perfect and they don't want anybody to go there with negative things that can affect their citizens. First, they said that you must believe in Jesus. They said that they don't want to allow any people who doesn't believes in Him. The people must have genuine trust in Jesus so He could work well. I thought that is just reasonable. I don't want to live a place with people who will just protest at the streets and act as if they knew better.

Then the speaker continued that at the preparation area, we will be purified. He said that in that area we can see our heart like a pin cushion and slowly they will pull out the pins in it. They said that they want their citizens to have a pure heart so that only happiness and contentment will be felt inside. Through the process of pulling out the pins, he said that we should face what caused the pins to be stuck in our heart. He said that sometimes our brain will try to pretend to forget a memory that caused us pain but it still does remain in our heart. In order for people to be purified, they must check their hearts and slowly pull the pins one at a time. He said that this process is painful and can sometimes make you quit but, he said, that it is okay to ask for a break once in a while.

He continued that it is okay to feel weak and take the process of purification slower than other people as long as you believe in Jesus. For in believing in Him you can find the strength to submit your self to do what should be done and face what you should face in order for you to be purified.

Sounds like a great deal for me.
Now we are ask to take a peek at the building one by one...Some took a step in but there are also some people who ran away, took their stuffs and immediately left the place.

...and now it's my turn...

I can see why some people ran away. I can see things that would really make me want to go away but I believe in Jesus and I know I'll be in good hands. I also believe that taking the pins out from my heart can help my heart breathe better.

I'll be going inside now...
The Kingdom of Jesus...would you like to stay here forever?

Tuesday, March 31, 2009

I'm Proud of You!

2:11 PM 5 Comments

Some of my friends/classmates/group mates/ who graduated...
I am proud of you guys!
Be the nurse that you are ought to be. ^_^

*Today's the graduation of my brother from his second course which is the Bachelors of Science in Nursing. It's really sad and I feel sorry for him for nobody's there to be with him on this special day but we also have our problems to face here in New York. =(
May God bless my brother and fill his heart with happiness and may God have mercy on us and hear our prayers.

To God be the glory!

Monday, March 30, 2009

Painting Jesus (story)

5:13 PM 3 Comments
One day, Jesse decided to attend Ms. Matthews' painting class. She went there with confidence and eagerness to learn. She loves art. She loves to paint. There is no doubt that the inborn skill that she have will improve with the proper teaching that she'll get from her class.

She woke up earlier than her earliest time of waking up during regular days. She prepared her clothes the day after; washed it very well and even used a lot of fabric conditioner to make it more pleasant, ironed it, then hanged it inside her room. She prepared her bag and carefully arranged the best materials that she can find and afford for the class. She then went to bed early to condition her mind. Clearly, she's excited to go to the class. No doubt that she really wanted it. She waited for a while for she knew it was still early to go. She then prayed while waiting, "Lord, I will paint for You. I will make a way so I can do something that I love and at the same time serve You. I don't know how to do it but I know I will."

Jesse went to school and met new friends. She met a lot of good people in Ms. Matthews' class. She made a lot of good friends. They had some misunderstandings but solved it soon, shared stories, laughter, tips, food, money, beliefs, and faith. They've encountered a lot of things that made their friendship strong. Jesse had some issues about friends before, that's why when she met these new friends, she knew she will treasure this friendship forever.

Some of the students in Ms. Matthews' class went there because their parents wanted them to study painting. Some enrolled because their friends enrolled. Some thought it would be cool to learn a new skill. Some enrolled because they wanted it and Jesse was one of them. Despite of the different reasons that they had, they still get along with each other and together they started to love painting. They all learned to love it. Everyday, they practiced and practice. Their class showed interest, willingness and perseverance. They all learned and improved their painting skill. They all learned how to paint well.

" part of your graduation, our school decided to have an exhibit of your works. Your final painting, which will be your final test, will also be the one that you will donate for the exhibit. Good luck and do your best!", Ms. Matthews announced to the class one day. The course will be over soon.

Jesse became excited. Finally she learned the things that she needed to learn. Finally she can now paint the one who inspired her to take the class and show it to the public. She can now express and show to other people how she loves Jesus so much. She knew even from day one that she will paint Jesus. "This is it. This is my chance of painting for Jesus.", she thought.

Ms. Matthews asked the students to do their work inside the classroom and immediately the students started to plan and think about their piece. Someone did an abstract, a scenery, a portrait of someone, a painting of the whole class painting, flowers, fruits, objects, ocean, falls, lake, garden, people, beaches, buildings, boat...and nothing?

"Jesse...can't decide yet?", Ms. Matthews asked.
"ahmm...I'm not sure how to start.", Jesse replied. She knew that Ms. Matthews was asking about the piece that she will make.
"Take your time. I know you can do it, but remember that you have to submit it next week for the exhibit."
"Yes Ms. Matthews. Don't worry, I will do my best."
Ms. Matthews replied with a nod and a smile and went to the next student beside Jesse.

Jesse took a deep breath. She looked at everybody. They were all busy. They look as if they had already planned about what to paint and how to start it. "Well...sometimes you don't have to plan what to paint. You just have to feel it, add emotions and just be inspired to paint...", she thought.

Jesse closed her eyes and prayed.

"Jesus, You know how much I love You and how much I wanted to do this for You...but I really don't know where to start. Please help me."

Without waiting for an answer Jesse decided to paint the clouds first. She decided to paint the minor details first. She felt odd but she continued and thought that maybe along the way of stroking the colors the Holy Spirit will possess her and guide her. She even started to paint her signature at the bottom and felt funny for doing it because she knew she's not doing it right.

"Jesse, what are you planning to paint?", Ms. Matthews noticed her.
"I want to paint Jesus, Miss....but", Jesse replied.
"I don't know where to start. I wanted to do something for Jesus and I thought this could be a great chance for me to do it."

"Jesse...sometimes you can't paint someone unless you know them truly. You wanted to do it for Him. Your desire is to paint for Jesus and not just paint Jesus. A lot of talented painters can paint Jesus if they wanted to and they can even do it in a very creative way. Nobody has seen Jesus but if a painter took time to get to know Him deeper, I am sure they can paint and represent Jesus well in their works. You have to know Him first before you can love Him deeply and if you get to love Him to that level, then serving or doing something for Him will not be a problem.",
Ms. Matthews spoke as if she's not herself. If Jesse had closed her eyes she could not even guess that it was her teacher that is speaking. Then Ms. Matthews left and went to another student to observe their works.

Ms. Matthews left Jesse stoned. Jesse never thought of it. All she wanted is to do something for Jesus. She became overwhelmed of the thought of serving Jesus but hadn't taken more time of getting to know Him more. Jesse stood up and left her class. She decided not to submit any painting for the exhibit. She decided to get to know Jesus first in a level that even her love and relationship with HIM alone can paint a portrait that can touch and allow people to see His goodness.

She didn't even regret going to Ms. Matthews' class for there she met true friends. She was able to learn and enhance her painting skills and most of all learn a valuable lesson. Her main goal is to paint for Jesus, maybe that's why the course is longer than the ones who decided to just learn the skill.

Jesse left Ms. Matthews' class with a new lesson, an open heart and an unfinished painting.

Friday, March 27, 2009

Just Like a Leaf

2:18 PM 2 Comments
I am really fascinated about the different colors of the leaves that I can see during the fall season. The colors are really lovely and I just can't stop appreciating it especially it was only when I came to America that I have seen something like that. My country, Philippines, doesn't actually have seasons because the sun and the rain comes anytime of the year.

I searched about how the color of the leaves changes and I found out that it has something to do with the lack of sunlight that it can get during these times. If you want to read the explanation, click here.

I know this topic is late for its season but I just can't help to reflect and relate what I saw to myself when I was in the park. Well, I was actually looking at trees without its leaves at the park but I have a different story about that. ^_^

Now back to the topic, are you familiar with mood rings? I also searched about it and the meanings of each colors.

It was really cool because I found out that, the color green in the mood rings means normal or average-just like the common color of the leaves during the season where it can get the most sunlight for its food processing. People feels normal, relax or even average especially at times when they are not facing any problems and when the things that they need are abundant.

Now as the days goes by the chlorophyll, which gives the leaves the color of green, disappears; so now we begin to see leaves of orange, yellow or even pink. Orange means daring and stimulating according to the color of the moods. At times when I have a problem, I don't easily feel weak especially when the problem just arise. I definitely feel daring or stimulated to fight and face it. But just like the leaves, we sometimes see yellows which means being unsettled or having mixed emotions or even pink which means fear and being uncertain. Then we see brown leaves which means that the leaves are now completely losing its chlorophyll. Brown means being restless.

Just like the leaves of the trees people face problems in a different manner. Some may even take it positively like being strong in the beginning but no matter how tough we are, we should always remember that in the end letting go is the best solution.

It may seem not the best thing to do. It may seem hard to do...but isn't it that no new leaf can grow if the old, unhealthy one will not fall?

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Saved by the Cross

9:14 AM 5 Comments
Yesterday, March 24, 2009, was amazing! It was super duper amazing that if I would make a list of my favorite dates in my entire life, I know I will include it. On the other hand, it was also one of those events in my life that I can't describe well. It was magical. I felt wonderful, fulfilled...I was completely overwhelmed by God's amazing works.

Every Tuesday at 7:30pm our Charismatic Prayer Group meets on our church and I would normally arrive an hour earlier to spend time in front of the crucified Jesus in a small park near the parking lot. I really love sitting there facing Jesus even if it is cold, dark or snowing. It is really comforting and even if I don't talk to Jesus, being there makes me feel like I really don't have to say anything at all. I sometimes don't say anything lately because I know that if I would start praying, I will just end up feeling bad because I really feel like leaving my country was a decision I just made by myself.

But yesterday was different. I sat there in silence, cleared my mind, noticed the trees without its leaves and the squirrels climbing and just stared at Jesus. I looked at Him and thanked Him for being in that cross for me. As I was sitting there, a lot of realizations came into my mind that not only it made me feel better but it also gave me answers.

First of all, if I didn't come here in New York, I wouldn't be sitting there in that park. I wouldn't be in church on a Tuesday to spend time with Him. I wouldn't be able to regularly attend the Sunday mass. I wouldn't be able to take and drink the body and blood of Christ regularly. I wouldn't be able to experience reading the first reading on a Mass (I've been praying for it ever since I was young).

If I didn't come, my spiritual life wouldn't be corrected. When I was in a nursing school in the Philippines, I had classes from Mondays to Saturdays with lots of requirements and sleepless days due to school works. I had honestly used most of my Sundays as an excuse to relax, sleep, unwind, study and finish my requirements on time. I know I was not doing the right thing but I would often use the word "busy and tired" as an excuse of not going to church regularly.

So there...after those realizations..I left the park thanking God for everything with an open heart to accept His ways of changing me and with willingness to pour out my love and gratitude for Him through singing during the prayer meeting. I really felt light and changed that moment.

It's now 7:30pm...just as when we were about to start 2 women came and introduced their selves as members of a prayer group from a far away church. It would be their first time to be on that church and they didn't even know that we are having a prayer meeting every Tuesday. Why would I know? Because I had met them outside before I went to the park. They asked me what are we having on our church. I said that the spanish prayer group meets at the Lower Church and the english prayer group on the upper church and the church opens at 7:30pm. They said ok and left, and that was when I went to the park.

When we started the prayer meeting, I can really feel that something's going to happen. The presence of the Holy Spirit is different. It was lively and intense. I love the moment for it allowed me to sing and pour out my heart through every song. The last time I had sang that way was when I was still in the Philippines on a youth fellowship.

The best part is....when I received healing. The first time that I had experienced an attack was during my 18th birthday. It tested my faith and made me closer to God but it was also causing me to have ups and downs of my faith. It had caused me to feel bad about my self. It had caused me to think that I am crazy. It had caused me to be humiliated. It had caused me to give up a lot of times as I felt like the more I move closer to Him the more the enemy is working harder to take me away from God. The latest attack was the reason why I left my blog for almost a month.

Sister Rose shared that God told her to go there. She goes to a different church and knows nothing about our group. She said she don't know what will happen or what are we having that day but she just followed what God told her to do and that is to go there.

It was really different and I really can't explain it further as what happened was just so spiritual and heavenly and amazing for words to be used to describe it. I am glad it is over. I believe it is over. I am really glad she obeyed God for she didn't only became an instrument of healing but she also serves as a confirmation of my experiences. I am glad I can now say that I am not crazy nor I do have some personality disorder.

God is truly amazing to set up pieces in our lives like a puzzle. God is truly amazing. He works mysteriously. He is unpredictable but when you try to comprehend things you will just be amazed by how everything is like well planned. There is definitely no coincidence to God.

To God be the glory!

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Roller Coaster Ride of Faith

9:11 AM 2 Comments
Almost a month ago I had experienced something that had made me really confuse and weak deep down inside. As in totally deep that I wasn't even aware why I feel really really bad, mad and sad. I choose not to explain what happened as I am also not sure how to explain it well but the only thing that is clear to me is that the circumstances given to us no matter if it a test given by God or an effort of the enemy to take us away from Him has only 2 possible results.

If we act negatively towards it, we will end up to a negative result-allowing the enemy to win. Sometimes we might not notice that we are allowing the enemy to win even though we knew that we believe in Jesus and even we have Him in our heart. In my case, when I felt really down I thought it was just a normal reaction or feeling of somebody who is facing some problems. I thought, hey you just can't understand how bad I feel because you are not in my position. I became really impatient because I believe that He will answer me but I just became really impatient of waiting. I still pray but my prayer would be more of like Lord please take away this negative feelings that I have. A verbal prayer that I have said because I want that to happen but then I realize that I was just saying it and not feeling every word that I have said. I was just saying it but I wasn't ready or willing to show determination to fight the negative feeling.

The second result would be a positive one-to rejoice because you know you are a child of God. How can we attain it? Just simple, only through Him. I had over come my days of darkness after a simple sincere and exclusive time for Him. God have done and given me so much and it is really humbling to know that all I have to do is show a little determination, make a simple genuine step for me to see that He is already working. My problems are not yet solved but His love is giving me happiness. He is really amazing for just by calling His name things can be made possible. I feel really really great. I know everything will be fine soon. Right now, I am just happy for the simple surprise treats that He is giving me. Moreover, how can I not be happy when I know that Jesus had already saved me and set me free?

What about you, have you experienced a roller coaster ride in terms of your spiritual life?

"Sometimes God gives us promises and we wait and wait,
pray and pray and then there comes a time
when our patience wears out.
We think we will help God out by manipulating people
and circumstance in order to fulfill God's promise."
- from Joyce Schmedel's
The Roller Coaster Ride of Faith of Abraham

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Thank you Lord

11:01 AM 3 Comments

Lord You seem so far away. A million miles or more it feels today.
And though I haven't lost my faith, I must confess right now that it's hard for me to pray.
But I don't know what to say and I don't know where to start.
But as you give the grace with all that's in my heart.

I will sing.
I will praise even in my darkest time through the sorrow and the pain.
I will sing. I will praise.
Lift my hands to honor You because Your word is true. I will sing.

Lord is hard for me to see all the thoughts and plan You have for me.
But I will put my trust in You. Lord will meet Your guide to set me free.
But I don't know what to say and I don't know where to start.
But as you give the grace with all that's in my heart.

I have heard and sang this song for a million times but it was only this morning that it had given me tears. I honestly don't know what to pray for and say to Him in terms of petitions but I know I just want to praise Him and thank Him for everything, for His love, for rescuing me and for recharging everything in me that needs to be recharged.

His love gave me energy and happiness today. Today, I feel really really great and I can honestly testify that I am different today compared to what I felt about myself last week.
Thank you God. Thank you Jesus.

Monday, March 16, 2009

Back to Life

9:20 AM 5 Comments
It's been a long time since I have written something in this blog and I don't even know why. Maybe it is the lack of appropriate words to express my thoughts and feelings or even maybe I really don't have anything to say at the moment and no matter how hard I try to update it my entries just remain unfinished and left abandoned as drafts. In some reasons and even if I know I am not as good as others in sharing and speaking about God's love, I had considered having this blog as a way for me to minister and proclaim what His love has done for me. But lately I just don't know what happened and honestly even visiting the blogger homepage made me guilty and ashamed of being weak...I had allowed myself to waste my time playing online games just to avoid having deep thoughts and to avoid facing some negative emotions that I know won't do any good for me. I decided to be "casual" with God for some time because I know I'll have to face my mistakes once I started to have a sincere talk with Him. Pride? Maybe..but it is more of I can't forgive myself for not listening or for misinterpreting God's plans for me. It is like how come you can't practice what you have preached or how come you suddenly became so weak when you have once said that nothing can change your faith. Oh yeah..that's pride. Plus let's add up envy. I am not ashamed to admit that I feel envious to my batch mates who will be graduating this month. I am happy for my friends but I hate being envious to them. Then suddenly I'll realize that MAYBE if I hadn't done anything..MAYBE if I didn't misinterpreted God and MAYBE if I listened carefully none of these things will happen. MAYBE. Maybe because I know I had asked Him a couple of times for a signal of GO or a hindrance to my decisions. I also want to quote something from the message of my friend, Phoebe Cruz, that made me somehow relieved..."whatever decisions you've made I'm sure He had good reasons why He made it happen..Trust Him."

I still don't know what are His reasons for me to experience this but I believe that one of it is to teach me how to forgive. I know that I can easily forgive people but I really find it hard to forgive myself. Last Saturday I attended a seminar about Growth and one of the topics was to learn how to forgive. The minister shared that the person that we find most difficult to forgive is our selves and I truly agree with him. I really find it hard to forgive myself over things that I should and shouldn't have done.

Lately, I know I've been really chicken to hide and run away when all I have to do is call on Jesus and surely He will comfort me and rescue me. Surely through Jesus and because of His love for me this negative feelings will soon be washed away.

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Today's Ash Wednesday

2:09 PM 4 Comments
Ash Wednesday is the first day of the Lent season. It's called that way because of the practice of placing ashes on the forehead as a sign of repentance. The ashes that will be used are from the burnt Palm Crosses from the previous year's Palm Sunday. It will not only be a symbol of repentance but it will also a symbol that we are made from ashes and will return to ashes when we die.

During the Lent season we not only remember the sufferings of Jesus when He was slain so that our sins will be forgiven. We also do our best to repent and imagine our selves to be crucified with Him. We would also abstain from eating flesh during Wednesdays and Fridays as we approach the Holy Week and fast during the actual week.

Actually, we don't need a special day to start repenting and turning back to Him but I believe that special events like this can help motivate people. ^_^

I will be posting our foreheads later..ehehehe...

Btw, there are a lot of things that I would really love to share such as the plans for having a joined service of the Orthodox and Catholics, some news from our Pope, some positive changes that we can see in our church and a lot more... but I don't know how to put everything into words...T_T

Sunday, February 15, 2009

Happy Birthday Daddy!

4:56 PM 6 Comments

The things we did to celebrate my dad's birthday:

1. He cooked/prepared for our breakfast.
2. He ironed our clothes for church.
3. We attended the mass.
4. We had our lunch at the mall (so that he won't cook for our lunch anymore).
5. Mom bought him shoes.
6. We went home early so they can prepare for our dinner celebration with some friends.
7. Dad cooked and prepared for our dinner because mom experienced heartburn.
8. We ate dinner and now we are watching a movie.
9. I'm sure we will end this day with a prayer. ^_^

I know it sounds like dad did everything for his birthday but I guess it just comes out of him naturally. He never gets tired of serving our family. He never gets tired of serving mom. It seems like they are still in the courting stage. lol

My dad is really the best. I really appreciate how he make it up to mom now that he had already retired from the army. I really pray that I could marry someone like him.

Happy Birthday Daddy!

Saturday, February 14, 2009

Nothing Can Stop Me From Loving

3:05 PM 1 Comments
I don't know how to tell the story in details but all I know is that the evil will pull you away from your faith through your weaknesses or not exactly on your faith and not exactly through your weaknesses but sometimes it will just make things happen and that could give you the feeling that you would want to stop praying or having a relationship with God.

I guess the coming of Jesus is really really getting near because it seems like the enemy is already having a double time in leading people away from the right path and pulling Christians away from it.

Anyway, I'm really thankful to have my parents beside me during that time when something happened that neither do I can explain. I am also glad it was over. I nearly gave up following Jesus but my parents were really patient, understanding and helped me realize that I should never allow anything to hinder me from praising, worshiping, loving and following Him. Surely it is not easy but I know it will be worth it...I live to give Him praise. I live to be a child of God.

He had done something because of His great love that is very hard for us to do and it is allowing Jesus to suffer for our salvation. That is why I choose to keep on holding as tight as I can even if it is hard. Btw, I'm not talking about being weak with my faith because of my unanswered personal prayers or anything that I have mentioned is something I couldn't really explain. I hope you can understand me even if I believe that I am not making sense but I know some of you will...^_^ lol

I am just glad I had won that battle and I really pray that it will be over...I feel so revived. I feel like a virtual page being refreshed. ehehe... I am also happy that the enemy failed because it just made me love God much more and made my grip even tighter than before...

Happy Valentines' Day everyone! Even though I had just been here at home the whole day, I know and I still feel loved.

Btw, it's my dad's birthday tomorrow...^_^

Friday, February 6, 2009

Prayers for Aden Harrington

6:38 PM 6 Comments
Aden is a beautiful 3-year old boy. He loves trains, his grandparents, reading, his half-day school and friends. He is smart, handsome and full of life.

Aden was diagnosed on January 6, 2009 with Stage 4 Kidney Cancer. It has already metastasized to his lungs.

He showed few signs of being sick, except for the fact that he was taking a bit too long to recover from a common cold. His parents noticed a little lump on his side just under Aden's ribcage. They took him to a pediatrician thinking he probably had mono.

Please include Aden in your prayers...

I got his story from The Lighthouse Prayer Line.

Read more about Aden's story and sign his guestbook:

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Forgiven and Set Free

8:12 AM 1 Comments
Forgiven and Set Free
by Lori Laws

It seemed like the best decision back then…it was a quick solution…besides, my life was just getting started and my whole future was ahead of me. I had an abortion at sixteen years old. The whole teenage pregnancy problem was gone, and I resumed my life. Up until I became a born-again follower of Christ, I hid and suppressed any feelings or emotions from the abortion. It was out-of-sight, out-of-mind…so I thought
There is something very real that happens to you when you have an abortion…it’s called Post Abortion Syndrome (PAS). It may take years (in my case, it took almost 25 years), but most of us who have had abortions share feelings of sorrow, anger, denial, guilt…etc. Satan absolutely uses these feelings to keep us in bondage.

For years after having my abortion, I felt totally uncomfortable around anything pregnancy or baby related. I tried avoiding that stuff like the plague. Avoidance is another symptom of PAS. Let me take a minute and speak to anyone who has had an abortion (or even if you’ve been involved in the decision). Paul tells us something in scripture that gives us hope. He tells us to forget the past and press on towards the goal (Jesus)! We need to hear that, really hear and meditate on that. Yes, abortion is a terrible, terrible thing. But the Bible says…

“If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” 1 John 1:9

God says that even though our sins are scarlet red, He can make us white as snow! How wonderful! I found an incredibly healing Bible Study specifically for PAS. It was life giving! The Book that was used is called Forgiven and Set Free. There were other women who also had PAS at the Bible study. One particular scripture God had used to minister and heal me was from the book of Ezekiel…

“And I will give you a new heart, and I will put a new spirit in you. I will take out your stony, stubborn heart and give you a tender, responsive heart." Ezekiel 36:26

The Bible study helped me to be confident of God’s forgiveness. It allowed me to forgive myself and move forward with my life. If you have had an abortion, and you are having a tough time with all the crazy, negative feelings associated with PAS, please call your local Pregnancy center…they will help you to really get it deep down inside… you are forgiven and set free!

I had mentioned on my past entries about how much I hated abortion. I hate the sin but I don't hate the sinner. This entry is dedicated to all of us, sinners. Abortion is not the only sin that can build a barrier between us and God. We should always remember that if we repent, no matter how big our sin is, God will always accept us.

I want to thank Lori Laws for being my guest blogger. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and allowing my blog to borrow your words. Blessings to you my friend!